


Ride the Wild Wind

by a_scholar



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Fluff and Smut, Handkerchief Code, M/M, Rodeo Competitions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-01-15 14:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18500665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_scholar/pseuds/a_scholar
Summary: Gay cowboys. That is basically it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No offense is meant by this silliness. Their love made a story pop into my head, but the characters in my head are living a life quite of their own, and I would never imagine them to be true portrayals of the real people, whom I love very much.

”Oh, fuck me, Lambert is here.” 

”Who?” Javi asks while squeezing past two heavyset men to reach one of his coworkers, who is leaning against a metal fence and looking into the arena.

His coworker Matt spits onto the ground and straightens his Stetson hat.

”Lambert. He rides bareback. He's a tough son of a bitch to beat.”

Bareback bronc riding. Matt's cousin competes in it, so naturally he is worried about any tough competition. The name does sound a bit familiar now, actually.

”Ain't a bad singer either.” As soon as these words leave Matt's mouth, a strong clear voice sings the first notes of the Star-Spangled Banner, signaling the start of the 10-day rodeo.

The audience falls silent, and Javi cranes his neck from behind his coworker in an attempt to see the man who is singing, but he can only catch glimpses of a faraway figure with his back turned to them.

Javi's mouth twitches in amusement and he glances at Matt's face.

No, he's not a bad singer. The voice is amazingly beautiful, so beautiful in fact that he didn't know anyone could sing the Americans' anthem like this.

”Half the girls are in love with him,” Matt mutters under his breath once it is over and they are putting their hats back on.

”Ooh, is Hannah in love with him, too?” Javi asks gleefully, giving Matt's stetson a push so it drops to cover the young man's eyes. ”That cowboy gonna steal your girl?”

”Shut the hell up! I'll whoop his ass if he does.” Matt goes on, describing how he usually doesn't like seeing gay men in rodeos—only, using an uglier word for them—but how this time it would be a blessing if Lambert turned out to be one.

With a sigh Javi tunes out. It's worth remembering that Matt is not someone whose friendship is worth pursuing. He's not a bad guy, but Javi isn't interested in fearing that someone he considers a friend wouldn't accept him. Feeling the weight of his secret among these masses of straight people is enough.

Although, Matt is clueless. There are more gay people attending the rodeo than he could ever imagine. Cheyenne Frontier Days is the largest annual rodeo event there is, with tens of thousands of visitors during the ten days, and just simple mathematics tells you that the whole spectrum of sexualities is bound to be represented in numbers. Even if not very visibly. It's not like in the largest cities, where they have even started organising gay pride marches.

He cannot see much of what is happening in the arena, but he hears the arena director start speaking into a megaphone, welcoming the attendees.

”Well, I'm gonna check up on the _broncos_ ,” he says rolling the r. ”Don't get lazy.”

”The what now? I don't k—”

He knocks Matt's hat off and ducks away, leaving his coworker to try to save it before it gets trampled in the crowd. It was more for the gay bashing than making fun of his speech. It's Javi's own choice to use the original Spanish word bronco, meaning rough, to describe untrained horses, rather than the more commonly used bronc. He can take a bit of teasing for that. However, being gay is not a choice.

Finally out of the worst crowd of people, Javi starts heading towards the holding pens that hold all the broncos used in the rodeo. He kicks a stone with the tip of his boot on the way, sending it flying and a cloud of dust with it. Thank goodness it's not supposed to be raining during the ten days, because rain would quickly turn the grounds to mud. The weather is sunny and warm, but not unbearably hot.

He's wearing blue jeans with a belt and a pale green plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A white cowboy hat on top of his curls shields him from the sun, since he has to be out all day doing various chores.

A glimpse of a colourful fabric in the back pocket of someone's jeans catches his eye and makes him walk slower.

Yeah, it's definitely an orange hanky tucked into a man's left back pocket, but whether it has been done with special intention or not is another question. What did orange mean again? He should have written them all down. There were too many colours and meanings, and he wasn't able to memorise all when his friend back from Denver had prattled them to him on the phone. Trying to call back now to ask for a repeat would be impossible. Lines to use the payphones are ridiculous. _Blue is safe_ , he repeats the mantra in his head. That one he had learnt: among the seekers of casual gay sex, light and darker blue mean oral and anal sex, although which is which he has already forgotten. From the acts mentioned by his friend, those two Javi is well familiar with and feels comfortable doing. Another mantra: _right is bottom._ So the man with the orange hanky is interested in being a top.

It makes a warm feeling flash in his gut, and he checks the man out. Not bad. Not very handsome, though, and the man has a thick moustache with no beard, which is a look that is becoming way too popular. Looks are not everything, but when the man notices Javi and they share a glance, it does not really excite him further. He gives the man a nod up and continues on.

It feels like the neatly folded blue hanky tucked away inside his pocket is emanating heat. It can remain there for now. He may be looking for company, but he's not about to just throw himself at the first gay man he comes across.

In fact, there's already another hanky in sight, although it belongs to a guy so youthful and fresh-faced that Javi doesn't feel even a twinkling of interest.

It's been way too long since he's been with anyone. He longs for someone's touch, someone he feels at least attracted to, since there is no one he's mad about at the moment. Hasn't been for a long time. The simmering need has been building for too long, though, what with having worked on the rodeo grounds for weeks already in preparation for the event, sharing accommodation with a dozen other guys with hardly a moment of privacy, seeing strapping male bodies everywhere, sweating from the exertion of riding and toiling in the sun... No way he's going through the entire event without trying to meet someone.

Loud laughter makes him look around as he walks, and he spots a man with his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut. While it's not completely unheard of for a cowboy to have long hair these days, it's not very common, and the man stands out with his dark brown hair that is long from the back. The man isn't wearing a hat. There are lighter highlights in the hair, maybe bleached by the sun. He has facial hair, a short dark beard and a moustache.

The man is wearing a deep blue Western shirt with gold embroidery and something glimmery on it, like rhinestones. Black jeans and dark brown leather chaps over them. Honestly, it's kind of a rebel look. The man looks like he should be on a stage in some seedy club in New York, rather than on the plains of Wyoming.

It seems that the rebel cowboy is having a hard time stopping his laughter, turning a bit to put his hand on another man's shoulder for support. As the cowboy turns, for a moment Javi gets to appreciate the sight from the back. The shotgun chaps are snug, hugging the man's legs but leaving the backside and crotch area bare. They frame the man's black jean-clad ass very nicely, and Javi feels his lips part. It's simply not acceptable to walk around publicly displaying something as round as that.

He's hot, such a hottie—

Javi realises he's stopped right in the middle of the path only when a wagon pulled by two horses tries to get past him. The commotion makes the group with the hot cowboy look over.

It's so much worse when they look at each other, Javi feeling all kinds of shivery, but also embarrassed from the attention, the man probably thinking he's some simpleton. Not knowing what to do, he touches the brim of his hat in greeting, ready to escape to the safety of the broncos. The man raises his hand with the obvious intention of returning the gesture, but pauses looking confused when he realises he's not wearing a hat. The man gives such a loud giggle that Javi can hear it over the noise. They grin at each other for a second before Javi turns away, hurrying towards the holding pens.

His cheeks are no doubt flaming. Damn, the man was charming. No hanky, though, so this is probably just another small heartbreak in the life of a gay cowboy.

” _Hola José_ ,” he says to the older Mexican man in charge of the broncos.

José immediately starts a rapid tirade in Spanish of all the things going wrong in his day, ending it by admonishing Javi of not taking a break when he can, there is no need for him to check up on the horses all the time, everything is going perfectly.

”I'm not tired. I like being with the horses.”

”Well, they like you too,” José gruffs out.

He takes a stroll around all the corrals holding the herds of rodeo broncos. Everything seems to be alright, most of the horses munching hay without any big disruptions going on, even if they seem a little restless. They are not wild horses after all, semi-wild at most but used to handling. It's riding that they are not used to, instead specifically bred for their bucking ability, so that they will do everything they can to try to throw the rider off.

They are not the easiest horses to handle from the ground either, far from it. It's not bragging to say Javi is good at handling them. The horses do seem to like him, calming down in his presence.

Later as he's leaving, to his surprise he spots the rebel cowboy again just outside the holding pens. The man is walking a beautiful unsaddled copper-red Quarter Horse, coming towards Javi and speaking to the horse softly.

”He's beautiful,” Javi says.

The man stops and brushes a strand of his long hair behind his ear before looking at the horse.

”Did you hear that?” the man asks softly and kisses the horse's forehead.

Javi steps closer to give the horse a pat. Earlier he thought they were the same size, but now it's apparent the man is taller.

”What's his name?” he asks.

”Antinous.”

As in... They open their mouths at the same time.

”You mean—”

”But you can—” The man laughs. ”Sorry, you go on.”

”I was just going to say, you mean like the Roman emperor's...” Javi hesitates a little. ”Companion.”

The man stares at him.

”I'll be damned. Have I met a smart cowboy? I was going to say you can call him Ant, if Antinous is too big for your mouth.”

 _Maybe you're too big for my mouth_. He could get a black eye for saying something like that. He fights the mad impulse to look at the man's crotch and instead focuses on scratching the horse's cheek.

"I like your accent," the man says. "Are you from south of the border?"

Javi shakes his head. ”From Spain. Mallorca.”

”You're European? Fuck, I love Europeans. How does one end up here? In rodeo?”

There is no time to start explaining, because his name is called. It's Matt, shouting Javi's name in a way that tells him he's needed urgently. He gives the horse a final pat and the man a smile. ”Work calls.”

”I'm Adam,” he hears behind him as he's already jogging away.

”Javi,” he shouts back, then feels stupid because of course the man has already heard Matt's calls.

Once he reaches Matt he's met with a scowling look.

”What were you doing with Lambert?”

”That guy? He's the bronco rider? The singer? I didn't know. I didn't see him earlier. Your fat ass was blocking the way,” he says and dodges Matt's hand coming for his hat.

”Well, if you see him again, you should tell him to stay away from a girl called Hannah. I saw a bunch of girls swarming him earlier.”

He sighs. Of course Adam would be popular with the ladies.

Javi busies himself with work from then on. He doesn't see Adam anymore, and maybe he won't until the bronco riding categories start. The first day consists only of opening ceremonies and events. The whole area is so huge anyway, so you may not even bump into someone again amidst thousands of people.

It would be a shame. Not just because Adam seems to be famous _and_ gorgeous. A cowboy who names his horse after an emperor's male lover is definitely worth talking to.


	2. Chapter 2

It's 5 am when Javi stumbles out of the workers' quarters, fastening his belt while he walks and shivering slightly because the early morning temperature is not so warm yet, and he's sleepy.

If only he had not volunteered for the task of feeding the horses. What on earth came over him? Especially since the horses here are fed so early compared to the more usual 6 or 7 am. Well, no—making a good impression is important. Nurturing a good reputation as a reliable and motivated worker could lead to good things.

It's so quiet on the rodeo grounds. The sounds of the city of Cheyenne are nonexistent, too.

 _Adam_. Suddenly his tired and foggy brain remembers the previous day and the existence of that man. Somehow it doesn't feel so dreadful to be awake anymore, and he harbours a hope of seeing Adam again.

José is already delivering grain for the bulls, and with a quiet nod Javi sets to carrying bales of hay for the horses.

Afterwards he sits down on some bales to look at the empty fields that stretch out from the back of the rodeo grounds. There's a row of trailers to the left, and Javi wonders if one of them belongs to Adam. José's arm and a mug of coffee appear by his shoulder and he takes the coffee gratefully, sipping it in silence and watching the place slowly wake up. Time to hit the showers before the grand parade starts.

\---

It's one of the several grand parades of the rodeo that make a loop around the city, consisting of all kinds of horse-pulled wagons and people dressed in period costume. Each one is held in the morning, but the first one is going to be the most popular, so maybe Adam will take part. The parade is not something Javi needs to worry about, for once being able to just chill, so he chooses a spot and settles down to watch.

He's almost given up by the time the back of the parade trickles past him, but there Adam is at last. It makes Javi almost choke on the apple he's biting. Adam is riding Antinous with hands tied behind his back, sleeves rolled up revealing tattooed arms. He's wearing a black bandana on his face and a black cowboy hat. There are ridiculous sacks with dollar signs tied to Antinous' saddle, the horse being led by another rider dressed as a sheriff. Adam is perfectly menacing as an outlaw with his dark long hair and a lazy arrogant look in his eyes. Is that some black colour around his eyes? Make-up?

”I see they finally caught you,” he yells trying not to laugh.

It's kind of difficult to hear what Adam replies, the noise so loud and Adam's voice muffled by the bandana, but Javi could almost swear he hears the words _you_ and _punish me_.

Adam's eyes lose the intimidating look, crinkling up in laughter as he slips from the role.

”Follow me,” Adam says, this time clearly enough.

So he does, keeping Adam in his sight as he walks through the crowd back to the rodeo grounds. He carries the half-eaten apple all the way, wanting to save it for Antinous. If his pace slows down just enough that he's slightly behind Adam, able to check what he looks like on horseback, long legs wrapped around the horse and ass nestled into the groove of the western saddle, well—

”Whew,” Adam says after untangling his hands, which apparently were not really tied after all, pulling the bandana down. ”It was getting hard to breathe. But I'm not passing an opportunity to dress up. Do you have a moment this time?”

”Not really, but I'll take a few minutes anyway.”

He gives Antinous the apple after a nod from Adam, who gets down from the horse.

”You're using a bitless bridle,” he observes. The bridle on Antinous' head is made of rope, no metal bit going into his mouth, but directions given instead by the slight tightening of the bridle.

”Mm-hm.” Adam comes closer so they're standing with the horse between them. ”I find it gentler, but it depends on the rider and the horse. If you use a hard hand, then it can also hurt the horse. And if the horse is one that needs to be controlled more, a bit is safer for everyone.”

It makes something squeeze inside Javi's chest that being kind to the horse is what Adam thinks is most important.

”Antinous is a big baby,” Adam says. His smile is very soft when he looks at the horse.

”Did you know that Hadrian was Spanish?” Javi asks, his mind going back to the fact that the name is so very... Gay. Maybe Adam doesn't understand who he means, though—he said the name with his native pronunciation.

Adam does catch on. ”He was? Is that how you know about it all, then? Did they teach that in school in Mallorca?”

”They did, but they um, they didn't mention Antinous.”

The 'sheriff' who had captured Adam approaches them at that moment, stopping briefly to whisper something into Adam's ear. It makes Adam laugh and make a chastising sound.

Now the squeeze around his insides is uncomfortable. It would better not be jealousy, because it would be fucking ridiculous to feel jealous that some other guy is able to make Adam laugh, even while Javi is trying to have a conversation with him.

He's nearly certain Adam is interested in men. If only he could acknowledge it somehow, or bring up his own interest, but the words get stuck in his throat. It feels impossible to approach the subject here, where there's no understanding or tolerance towards being gay. He's become too used to keeping his mouth shut.

”Hm.” Adam scratches his beard. ”And what else did they teach you? You definitely seem like someone who's finished his school, which can't be said for everyone here.”

He gives an embarrassed laugh, busying his hands with petting Antinous. ”I came to the States when I was in high school, actually. I went to university in Denver.”

Adam gives a whistle, making Antinous prick up his ears.

”And...?”

Javi's business studies, love of horses and interest in training them, especially wild ones, are quickly told.

”I just ended up working here. This is my first big rodeo. After this, I'm going to a ranch in Montana for a while, to work as an apprentice for a trainer. Maybe I'll have some kind of a business going on one day.”

”You should work for me, I'm terrible at handling my businesses.”

With a happy-sounding nicker Antinous shakes his head, then starts rubbing the length of it against Javi's chest, pushing so that he stumbles. Remnants of the apple, grass and whatever else the horse has been eating get wiped on his shirt.

”I'm—stop, for goddsake's,” Adam says trying to pull the horse away.

Looking down at his drool-covered shirt, Javi bursts into laughter.

”I'm so sorry,” Adam says. ”I think he loves you.”

”Don't worry about it, this happens all the time.”

”Come on, I'll lend you a shirt. You can't go walking around like that, you have to be presentable.”

His protests are weak. They walk towards the trailers, stopping in front of one that's quite expensive-looking, but not outlandishly so. Adam ties Antinous to the back of it, which has a compartment for a horse, before opening the door to the living quarters.

Javi almost takes a step back. It's a trailer alright, but nothing like he's ever seen. The walls are covered with blue-green velvet curtains, the floor a soft faux fur rug. Everything looks custom-made, all the cabinets, the kitchen sink, the small round table. There's a leopard print bean bag chair in one corner. A record player and a pile of records next to it.

Adam leaves his boots to a place for them by the door before stepping onto the rug.

”Western, denim, plaid?” Adam asks going to a closet.

”Uh, whatever is fine. This place is unreal.”

Javi sees a glimpse of all kinds of shiny fabrics before Adam turns to him holding a light blue denim shirt.

”Thanks. Is this okay? Do you need an undershirt?”

Javi glances down, noticing a green streak on the collar of his white undershirt.

Adam has already taken one out of the closet and is holding the shirts in his hand.

”I'll wash your shirts for you," Adam says. "I'm going to the laundromat tomorrow anyway.”

” _Gràcies_ ”, Javi hears himself say, unable to explain the slip by anything else than the growing realisation that Adam is waiting for him to undress.

Before giving Adam any chance to offer him privacy, he takes his hat off, unbuttons hurriedly and pulls the shirts over his head, then cards his hand through his curls that are undoubtedly going crazy.

Even though his heart is racing he tries to play it cool, giving the dirty shirts to Adam with a slight smile. Adam is looking at him with heavy eyes and the silence is pressing, but—Javi would make a complete fool of himself if he did what he wanted. Which is to take his boots off and climb to the raised bedroom area at the end of the trailer.

He's shivering now, a small tremor going on in his body that he can't seem to stop. Adam's presence is too much, the whole physicality of him.

He manages to put the clean sleeveless undershirt on, but the buttons of the denim shirt are giving him trouble.

”Let me.” Adam comes closer to button the shirt for him, but now his scent washes over Javi, and he might not be able to _not_ touch, so he stumbles back.

”Thanks, I—thank you for the shirts. I'll return them later.”

He takes his hat and leaves Adam standing there at the door of the trailer.

”Okay. I'm sorry. You know where to find me.”

”I'm sorry.” Fuck. Does Adam now think he doesn't want him close? ”I appreciate you. It. I'll see you later.”

With an awkward wave he goes, knowing people must already be wondering where he is. The denim shirt is a little loose on him, a bit large from the shoulders and the sleeves are too long, so he rolls them. Smells like Adam, too.

\---

The day is long. It's bull riding all day long, but he's opted out of helping on it, something about it just turning his stomach. It's not like he hasn't questioned the sense of horse rodeo as well, but so far he's endured it, to his satisfaction finding the broncos here well looked after. So, instead he spends the whole day managing the crowds, but even if smiling and helping people does not usually tire him that much, it gets hard after several hours.

After dinner when his duty ends he's allowed to drink, and the cold beer is very welcome.

The light is starting to turn orange, the crowds thinning as families with children leave, but somehow the noise of people chatting is getting louder. Javi is walking around, the beer creating a pleasurable buzz. It looks like the men and women everywhere are finding company.

He chooses a spot where to lean against a fence and looks at the passing crowds, sipping his beer. It takes him a moment to realise that a tall man has looked at him a couple of times already. More like stared. A quite good-looking man, with a chiseled jaw and blond hair under his Stetson. The man has a grey hanky sticking out of his left back pocket.

Almost embarrassed, Javi looks around to see if anyone has noticed the man making eyes at him, and sees Adam.

Not far from him, likewise leaning against a fence and looking at Javi with piercing eyes. His hair is hanging slightly over his eyes, the black cowboy hat on his head.

They just look at each other for a while.

It's the beer, has to be the beer that makes Javi reach behind his back and pull at the hanky inside his pocket so that it peeks out. Slowly he bends down to put the empty beer bottle on the ground, turning just enough to give a view of his ass and the hanky in his right pocket.

He doesn't know what he was expecting, exactly, but when no reaction from Adam follows, his chest feels incredibly tight and heavy.

Stupid, really. Hell, maybe he should approach the other man. Adam isn't even looking at him anymore. Actually, he's looking at the man with the grey hanky.

After a moment, as Javi is watching, Adam pulls out a blue hanky. He then pushes it into his left back pocket so it's hanging out, and turns his back to Javi, leaning against the railing with his right foot lifted on the lowest bar.

It's like he's frozen, staring at that pretty curve and the spot of blue fabric. It's coming closer, though—no, he's going towards Adam, stumbling forward until he can reach to brush his fingers against Adam's elbow.

Adam's mouth is slightly open, pink tongue visible when he turns to Javi. ”Where to?”

Javi has to clear his throat. ”Follow me,” he says.


	3. Chapter 3

Javi leads Adam towards a large shed that holds all the rodeo equipment. No one should have any business coming there at this hour. He has the keys to it, but opening takes a while because his hands are not cooperating very well.

Adam takes off his hat stepping in, so Javi does the same and they hang them on hooks on the wall. Remnants of daylight are filtering in through the windows, but he doesn't dare to turn the lights on. These kind of encounters are better suited to dark places anyway.

It's hard to believe his luck that he's sharing this moment with this man. Makes him feel quite light-headed.

”You're very beautiful,” Adam says quietly coming up to him and brushing the back of his hand against Javi's cheek.

The proximity and warmth of Adam's body makes his breath quicken. He observes what he can see in the dim light, the silky-looking strands of hair, full lower lip, dark beard. The shirt is a different one than in the morning, looking like it's been freshly ironed, which makes Javi worry about the condition of the borrowed denim shirt he's been wearing all day. He feels a compulsion to check the state of his armpits by giving them a sniff, to see how horribly he's sweated Adam's shirt. His mouth tastes like beer a little, but at least he was chewing gum before drinking.

Adam gathers some of Javi's brown curls between his fingers and starts to play with them.

”I need to confess something,” Adam says softly, making Javi's heart immediately sink. ”I'm glad you chose me. I'm so glad and flattered. But actually, I mostly wanted to make sure I could continue talking to you.”

The confusion and sharp disappointment caused by the rejection probably show on his face, because Adam steps even closer.

”Not _just_ talk. But if you're looking for just a quick fuck and instant satisfaction—or if you really wanted bondage tonight, you should go back to that other guy. I mean, despite the outlaw costume I'm not really into...”

 _What?_ Oh. ”Is grey for bondage?” he asks, cringing.

”You didn't know?” Adam, his voice going high.

”No,” he says, dropping his head in embarrassment and butting it against Adam's shoulder. ”I've never done this before,” he mumbles, feeling Adam's fingers slide into his hair in a way that makes a tingling sensation go through his body.

”Been with a guy?” comes the careful question.

Was that a kiss against his hair?

”No, I meant—” He lifts his head to look at Adam. ”Cruised. Looked for company.”

”Has company found you? That's not difficult to imagine.”

It makes him blush. He wants to touch the man, really grab him, but he doesn't know if he's allowed, if Adam doesn't want to have sex. Feeling bold, he hooks a finger through a belt loop of Adam's jeans, holding onto it.

”It's just that I had a boyfriend for some time. And after that, the guys I've been with, they've—well, it's never been very planned. But it's hard to meet guys in this environment, so a friend of mine told me about the hanky code, and so...”

Adam makes a considering sound.

”And now you're looking for a round of fun. Or a rodeo date?”

”What's a rodeo date?”

It's like a hiccuping giggle that leaves Adam's mouth. So endearing.

”Aren't you a green one? It's when you meet someone at the rodeo, a guy or a girl, and you have a _wild affair_ for however long the rodeo lasts. It can be whatever you choose. Secret hand-holding... Or fucking against a fence. Then you part ways.”

He can't, a surge of heat in his lower stomach making him want to just open his jaw wide and bite Adam's shoulder and groan into it.

”Is that what you want?” he asks instead.

Adam doesn't answer, only looks at him with a slight smile.

”Will you be my rodeo date?” Javi asks, even though he's worried he's mistaken.

”Mm-hm. I'll be your date for this rodeo. That means you won't be needing this anymore.”

Fingers brush against his right buttock, making him jump. The hanky gets pushed deeper into Javi's pocket out of sight, but then the fingers disappointingly leave.

”And um,” Javi licks his lips. ”What is our wild affair going to include?”

” _Well,”_ Adam says slowly, stretching his words. ” _I_ was thinking we could continue our discussions about horses and gay Romans. We could go riding after your work. We could go to the amusement park. Maybe you'd like to watch my rodeo? I have some tequila, and we could listen to records in my trailer. What else...”

Arms snake around his waist to hold onto him loosely.

”You escaped me when I was going to kiss you,” Adam whispers. The swift press of warm and soft lips against Javi's is so surprising, the moustache that brushes against his upper lip leaving a tickling sensation. He gasps into it, pursing his lips slightly to meet Adam's in another soft kiss before Adam pulls away. ”So I'd like to do more of that. And to have really... Really hot sex with you whenever we want.”

”Please.” He does grab Adam, wrapping himself around Adam's body. ”Yes. It wasn't even a choice, by the way.” His voice comes out muffled with his face pressed against Adam's shoulder. ”I saw you and I—I saw you and—”

”Shh.” Adam's hand smooths down his back. ”I saw you. You were so pretty my heart stopped.”

Adam's grip of him tightens, hugging him impossibly close, a firm thigh caught between his legs in the process. The press of it makes his eyes roll.

”F-fuck.” The thigh pushes harder, hands grabbing his ass and squeezing.

Everything turns to burning hot and he takes hold of Adam's cheeks, seeking Adam's mouth with his, the long hair getting caught in his fingers.

Adam is a good kisser. The kisses start slow, varying in their length and intensity, a hint of tongue introduced here and there becoming Adam offering his tongue for Javi to lick and suck, until his mouth is then devoured in turn.

The continuous little noises Adam makes are maddening, at once music to his ears and frustrating, because they make him want to touch the man in every way to tease out every possible variation.

He's quite ready to beg for Adam to touch him and not leave him wanting tonight. Thankfully Adam seems to be becoming quite undone himself, breathing fast and hands clumsy as they travel over Javis' body. A sudden push that makes Javi's back collide with the door of a cabinet makes him gasp aloud, and there seems to be no question now of whether or not he'll get to experience pleasure in Adam's arms.

Opening their jeans takes time, both distracted by Adam's head buried against Javi's neck leaving hot kisses. Eventually a hard length presses against his with only the fabric of their underwear in between. Adam's hips start a circular movement, which is very unlike anything Javi has ever witnessed a cowboy do, rubbing sensuously against him. Like a dancer. It leaves him no choice but to hang on to Adam for dear life, one leg wrapped against Adam's legs.

After a while, eyes closed and mouths pressed together, Javi's fingers find the waistband of Adam's briefs to push them down, making them drop to Adam's ankles with the jeans. With a grin against his lips Adam does the same to Javi's briefs, pushing them down just enough to free him.

He's so turned on, the pleasure so sharp that he's panting for air in between Adam's kisses, fingers grasping hold of the naked globes of Adam's ass.

When Adam takes them both in his warm hand, sliding his hand fast and slick, the climax crashes over Javi. He comes with his mouth open, moaning against Adam's neck, squeezing with his hands and feeling the answering jerks of Adam's hips.

Time passes with them standing leaning against each other, waiting for their heart rates to calm. Javi's palms slide up under Adam's shirt, exploring the bare skin as far as he can reach.

”Good talk,” Adam says in a bright voice.

Javi cracks up so hard Adam has to slap a hand over his mouth.

Smiling under the hand, Javi looks at Adam and slowly licks across Adam's palm. It's the hand Adam used to touch them both.

”Fuck.” Adam takes the hand back like it's burning. ”You.” Adam kisses the tip of his nose. ”Irresistible little... Monkey.”

He leans in to give Adam a smacking kiss.

”It felt wonderful, thank you. I didn't mean to seem desperate, but I've just been so damn—well, horny for a while,” he says, making Adam snort. ”And I'm incredibly... Attracted to you.” The words nearly get stuck in his throat, suddenly embarrassed by the confession. ”But it's not like I was only interested in a quick tumble and goodbye. Getting to see you for eight more days sounds amazing.”

Adam is smoothing his thumb over Javi's cheek.

”How old are you?”

”I'll be 22 next year.”

Adam hangs his head for second before looking at him with a kind of a sad smile.

”Shit. I'm gonna be 37.”

”Well. I hope you don't think I'm too immature to hang out with you for eight days. It makes no difference to me. I want _you_ , not some other man here who's younger but not you.”

”Of course I don't. I must have been an idiot when I was 21, but you seem... Enviably well put-together.”

Javi's protest gets interrupted by his yawn. After telling Adam he's been up since 5 am, Adam insists he heads to bed. They make themselves presentable.

”So. That happened,” Javi says with a smile while buttoning his shirt. Adam's.

”That happened. You look good in my shirt.”

”You should let me borrow another one.”

”I think I will.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the rating to E to be safe, but I think this is more like soft E or heavy M, not very explicit.

It's probably the fifth time Javi is taking a moment to stare somewhere in the direction of the trailers to see if Adam is coming. At last Adam appears, carrying a bag over his shoulder and walking with some friend, assumably.

”You're late,” Javi says when Adam walks up to him.

”He's always late,” the friend quips before Adam can say anything.

They head towards the locker rooms for rodeo riders. A soft smile from Adam and a fleeting touch against Javi's back as they go through the door send butterflies into his stomach.

”Are you gonna watch me?” Adam asks.

”I'm loading the broncos to the bucking chutes.” It's the small enclosure the rodeo horse is staying in while the rider climbs onto it, the gate then opened allowing the horse to burst out and start bucking. ”So I'll be there watching the whole thing. I need to go out there pretty soon.”

Adam grins happily. ”Maybe you could give me a good luck kiss when I'm out there,” he then whispers into Javi's ear.

”Imagine that,” he laughs and glances at the other cowboys in the room nervously. Wouldn't that be a sight to see, the audience probably so shocked they would pay no attention whatsoever to the rodeo.

While Javi watches Adam unpack the gear, he becomes aware of a certain division in the room. A locker room full of cowboys is a very masculine space. A young man nearest to them is sitting with his legs spread so wide it's faintly ridiculous. It's a chaotic scene, everyone's boots, chaps, saddles for the saddled bronc rodeo, gloves and whatnot strewn about in a complete mess. A group of men all with their cowboys hat on are talking so loudly they're practically shouting. Even though there were mutual nods and greetings exchanged when Adam came in, it's like there's an invisible line separating Adam's group from the other cowboys.

Maybe the cowboys don't exactly know in what way Adam is different from them, but unconsciously they sense it, forming their own little circle where Adam is not fully invited in.

It's a bit sad. Usually the rivalry of the rodeo arena dissipates backstage, so the reason probably isn't Adam's success, but his perceived otherness. No matter how hard Adam tries, his success will not be met with the same level of celebration that is shown to other rodeo riders.

His heart aches a little as he realises that Adam's demeanor doesn't entirely sit with the macho scene. Even if he wears a cowboy hat and jeans, there is a hint of... _Something_ that immediately sets him apart. A twinkle in his eye, a flair. His relatively high speaking voice doesn't really help the matter, as lovely as it sounds.

To be fair, if Javi was thrown together with those macho rodeo guys, he would look and feel out of place, too. Training horses is a much gentler discipline—should be when done correctly—and better suited to him.

”What are you thinking about?”

”Nothing.” He turns back to Adam.

”Pfft. I could hear you thinking. That head of yours isn't empty.”

It makes him smile. ”Nothing important, then. Maybe I'll tell it later. I don't want to distract you.”

”Aww. I only need a moment of focus before the ride, and I don't get nervous.”

”You don't?”

”Not really anymore. It's just exciting. Adrenaline.”

Adam has taken out his rodeo chaps. All rodeo chaps are quite ridiculous. They don't hug your legs tightly, like the simple and narrow shotgun chaps do, which you might use to protect your legs from wear when doing ranch work. Instead they're wide, with a flare at the bottom, and fastened only from a couple of places so they move quite freely, flapping about during the rodeo. They are brightly coloured and adorned with fringe.

Adam's chaps have a zebra print and the fringe is bright blue. Sometimes the colour combinations are quite outlandish, because the purpose of the chaps is more in putting on a show, but this is certainly the first zebra print Javi has seen. It makes him grin.

Adam pauses to look at him, rubbing his beard lightly. Then he winks.

”I need to take a piss”, Adam suddenly announces pretty loudly.

”Yeah, uh, same.”

They exit the room and head towards the toilets, but then Adam spins Javi around a corner.

”Can I get that good luck kiss?”

There's no one there, the corridor empty. Adam takes his hat off and shields their faces with it for good measure.

Javi mashes his lips against Adam's, revelling in the sensation. The inside of Adam's mouth is slick and warm, and instead of seconds he'd like to spend hours kissing. The taste is so good, and it's something he noticed the previous night already. Why is that? Why can't he remember anyone else tasting as good? There was one guy in his past he had made out with, before even dating his ex boyfriend, and every time they had kissed the taste had been just somehow unpleasant. At first Javi had thought it was him, obsessively brushing his teeth but with no results. He didn't know if it was an issue with the guy, or if their unique tastes just didn't mesh well. It felt like the guy had known it too, gradually stopping the open-mouthed kisses. Perhaps they just didn't fit, the chemicals in their saliva saying _not that one_. This time the message is _yes that one_ , the swapping of fluids making Javi's brain very, very happy.

The kiss is wonderfully sloppy but too brief, Adam stopping it before they get too carried away.

Adam looks at him, placing his thumb against Javi's lower lip and pressing lightly.

”Your lips. They kill a man.”

He gives the thumb a kiss with a laugh.

”Do you feel lucky?”

”Very lucky.”

”Good. I gotta go,” he says pushing Adam gently away. ”Don't fall off.”

\---

Loading the broncos to the chutes is a job that requires concentration, so that no mistakes are made that could risk injury to horse or rider. Javi makes sure the horse walks along the so-called catwalk and enters one of the six chutes of the arena that is his responsibility, a gate then closed behind the horse. Standing on a platform that allows him to reach over the horse's back, he then puts on the equipment: a halter on the horse's head so the horse can be caught when necessary, and the rigging belonging to the particular rider who will be riding the horse. It is like a belt put on the horse instead of a saddle, but it has a handle which is the only grip a bareback rider will have of the horse. Riggings are personal, customized to fit that rider's grip, because losing your grip is not an option for a rodeo rider.

As he's working on his first bronco, another chute opens, the bronco in it bursting out with a rider on its back. That's how it goes, one by one the broncos released while others are being prepared.

The order is not random, a bronco selected for each cowboy by drawing lots, and Javi knows which horse and rider goes through which gate. That's why he chose this particular one, to be able to send Adam off.

Eight seconds, only eight seconds needed for the rider to stay on.

Javi watches each rider who tries his luck. More than half do stay on—these are the best of the best. Not everyone makes it, though. Even the best rider can lose his balance or grip. Every time someone falls Javi grimaces, feeling relieved only when the rider gets up of his own accord.

Every rodeo rider either has got hurt before, or will get hurt at some point. Adam, too—Javi had asked the previous night when Adam was walking him back to his quarters. Only two small fractures, though, and plenty of bruises and pulled muscles. _I know working out and being in top shape would give me an edge, but I'm just too lazy for it. I kind of hate it,_ Adam had laughed.

It's impossible not to grin when he spots Adam waiting for his turn. Perhaps he triple checks everything is tightened and secure for Adam.

”Hi!” Adam says loudly when he gets up on the platform next to Javi to climb on the horse.

There are so many people around them that he doesn't know what else to say than a quiet hi back. Adam's friend is there to make sure everything is alright; there are three men inside the arena ready to open the gate; a judge next to him and several others in the arena.

Adam takes support from Javi's shoulder as he swings his leg over the bronco. He's smiling and saying thank you to everyone who's helping him, as he takes a grip of the handle with his thick glove. Javi is a little stunned, because usually all the cowboys are very gruff and serious, looking nervous or even angry as they prepare for the event, with no thought spared for the surrounding people.

Javi's heart is in his throat, suddenly beating so fast he feels almost faint. Adam gives him a glance before pushing the black cowboy hat deeper onto his head and closing his eyes for a second.

 _Good luck_ gets stuck in Javi's throat, making Adam the only rider he doesn't actually wish good luck to, other than with the kiss.

Then the chute opens, and the horse pulls off.

Everything always happens so fast, but since Javi is now watching this ride like a hawk, it seems like it happens in slow motion.

The bronco is a handsome palomino, one of Javi's many favourites out of the nearly 400 broncos there. He's been told it's a very good bucker, which is both good and bad for the rider. Bad because the easier it is to fall off, but good because staying on is not the only purpose of the ride: you have to earn style points. Both the rider and the horse get a score, and the better you get the horse to buck, the better your chances of earning points.

The bronco bursts out of the gate, then jumps straight up with its shoulders lifted and head low, all feet off the ground. Adam leans back, gripping the handle with one hand and his free hand lifted in the air as is required.

Then the bronco gives a sharp buck, kicking its hind legs up in the air. Often the rodeo riders look like completely helpless rag dolls. Swinging this way and that, lying back all along the horse's back and then in the next fraction of a second almost thrown to the ground over the horse's neck.

Adam's ride looks amazingly controlled and easy, even though it must be anything but. The bronco is bucking like mad. Adam manages to stay almost in the same position the entire time, like he's always able to predict which way the movement of the horse will veer him, shifting his weight against it.

The zebra-print chaps with their bright blue fringe are flashing, Adam's black Stetson flying in an arc after one buck, making his long hair swing in the air.

When the buzzer rings, Javi lets out the breath that he had been holding during the ride.

Two cowboys ride to the still bucking bronco and herd it to gallop around the side of the arena, one cowboy riding close and offering an arm to Adam so he can grab it to slide safely off the bronco to the ground. Often it's unelegant, the tired and panicky rider grabbing hold of whatever part of the cowboy and horse he can reach, sliding off the bronco and ending up on his ass on the ground, maybe after a few tumbles. Of course Adam slides off in an effortless movement, landing on his feet and smiling at the audience, brushing a hand through his hair while he walks to pick up his hat.

The cheers are loud, the audience obviously loving it.

The score for both Adam and the palomino bronco is really good, sending him to the top.

From then on Javi has to concentrate on fastening another rider's rigging, and then another, and another. When he finally signals for a guy to take his place so he can go to the toilet for real, he finds Adam leaning against a wall and looking at him.

”How long have you been standing there?”

”A while.” Adam has changed his clothes: he's wearing blue jeans and a white linen shirt with a floral pattern, several buttons delightfully open revealing a patch of hairy chest. ”Your ass looks so pretty in those jeans.”

Javi feels his mouth drop a little.

This time he does let his eyes travel up and down.

”What time do you get off?” Adam is giving him a half-lidded look.

”Not until the evening. I'll feed the broncos after this ends, but then I'll have a break for an hour.”

\---

Adam helps him by carrying hay. José drops by to give suspicious looks, but he seems to warm up after Javi explains that Adam is a bareback rider and a friend who is very kind to horses.

”Did he fall?” José asks in Spanish.

”No. He's in second place, but the second round is the day after tomorrow.”

”Are you talking about me?” Adam asks Javi.

”I was telling José how you flew on your ass after the first buck.”

”Liar. Are we done soon?” Adam has been looking restless, sending heated glances Javi's way.

”One more round,” he says and points to the direction of the large old-fashioned wooden hay barn.

Once inside, instead of going for the hay bales, Javi heads to a ladder that leads up to the hay loft and starts climbing. Mid-way, he turns to look at Adam, who is staring at him dumbly holding hay.

”Are you coming?”

It doesn't take long for Adam to drop everything and climb after him.

Up there Javi gets pushed onto a bed of hay, a big cowboy falling on top of him and sealing his mouth over his.

”Double liar.”

They are laughing, though, so the kiss is a mess. At least until Adam's tongue causes heat to travel down Javi's body, and he wraps his legs around Adam.

A ripping sound reveals that Adam is destroying the buttons of Javi's shirt.

”Now you definitely— _aahh—_ have to lend me another one.”

”I'll give you all of my shirts,” Adam mutters, not making any sense, but after pulling the shirts off he's licking a trail along Javi's chest, so that's the important thing here. It's such a sweet contrast of raspy beard and warm wet tongue.

Javi gets rolled over, ending up on top of Adam, and he can feel that hay is sticking to his hair and sweaty back. They are honestly rolling around in hay like in some cheesy flick, and Javi would start cracking up about it except getting Adam's shirt open leaves no time for that.

Javi copies the exploration that Adam did with his tongue, discovering how freckled and tattooed Adam's skin is. He can't quite believe Adam has Antinous tattooed on his side, but at the same time it's weirdly unsurprising.

Sounds of the outside world leave no doubt that there's a rodeo event happening around them, but they are still in their own quiet bubble, surrounded by hay. Their kissing and breathing sounds loud in Javi's ears.

Rubbing against the bulge in Adam's jeans is not enough, even if just like kissing it is something he would like to do for hours. This is urgent, though. He backs down. With nimble fingers he starts opening Adam's jeans, the belt buckle clanking and the zipper making a sound, and then the jeans come off, underwear and all. He sends a mischievous glance at Adam before opening his mouth wide and taking it in.

Adam curses and by the sound of it grabs hay into his fists. With his mouth filled, Javi focuses on giving pleasure, every suck making him throb in his jeans.

When he pulls off with a gasp, intending to switch to kisses and licks for a while, Adam suddenly sits up. Javi has time for a quick look to note how adorably flushed Adam looks, strands of hay in his long hair, before Adam grabs him by the belt and pulls. Then Javi's legs are grabbed and pulled, and _oh_ , now he understands how Adam wants to arrange him.

He wriggles a bit until he's in a good position on top of Adam and buries his head in Adam's crotch again, now upside-down so his legs are by Adam's head. His jeans are pulled down, then soft and warm touches follow, then wet heat.

Giving and receiving it at the same time like this is almost too much. It's not only the sensation and taste of having Adam in his mouth and feeling Adam's mouth on him, but the sounds. The mutual soft suckling sounds, and Adam's moans. They come with every outward breath, continuous _mmh_ s. It makes him a little proud that Adam seems less coordinated out of the two of them, having difficulties to stay in the rhythm and pausing to groan.

Indeed, Adam gives up on being able to suck properly, so instead Javi feels a tongue travel lower, and then lower, hands smoothing over his skin.

Javi gives it a rest too, because Adam is twitching. He turns to look at Adam, kissing a lightly furred thigh.

”Do you want to come like this?” Adam asks with a low voice, stroking him. ”Or do you want a lesson in... _Bareback riding_?” Adam bucks his hips so that Javi bounces with it.

The corners of his mouth start to pull until he lets his head drop and starts laughing, shoulders shaking with it.

Adam joins him, laughing brightly.

”I would love to take a ride,” Javi finally manages, extending his tongue and giving a lick. ”Except you're gonna have to work for it. It's probably pretty tight down there.”

”Oh, that will be my pleasure.”

So he gets to lie down on his stomach in the hay, feeling it tickle and prick his skin while Adam takes his time opening him up and making things slick by spitting until he says his mouth is totally dry.

It's Javi's turn to collect hay into his fists as he writhes while getting filled, Adam's body pressing him into the hay, _Does that feel good?_ repeatedly being whispered into his ear.

Later, when they've switched position, Javi is literally riding, sitting across Adam's hips. A strong thrust of Adam's hips almost makes his eyes roll back, but then he freezes at the sound Adam makes. Adam neighs loudly, sounding exactly like a horse.

”Stop, oh my God.” He's laughing helplessly, almost losing his balance so that Adam has to grab his hips. ”You're the worst.” But he leans over to kiss Adam, who looks very irresistible when he giggles. ”You wanna know what my riding skills are, huh?” he asks grinning against Adam's lips.

”Mm-hm. Show me how you'd ride a really wild one.”

”Oh, no, no. A wild one I'd ride nice and slow. A big gentle lazy one who would just like to lie around in hay I'd ride hard, like this.”

He starts to roll his hips, making them both moan, occasionally interrupted by their giggles and snorts.

Looking at the gorgeous man with his white shirt open, dark hair messy, lips swollen and eyes glazed, it almost makes Javi sob that he's actually doing this. To have a hot affair with a beautiful partner, to roll around secretly in a hay barn sounded like something that only belonged to straight people. Yet here he is, unbearably aroused and about to make a stunningly gorgeous—if slightly ridiculous—cowboy unravel.

Adam comes with his palm against Javi's sweaty chest, whole body trembling. It doesn't take long for Javi to find his pleasure, with Adam still thrusting into him.

He must have dozed off for a minute. Adam is lying next to him in the hay, supported on his elbow and touching Javi's hair.

”How do you say 'you're beautiful' in Spanish?”

Why does he instantly feel so shy? ”To a man? Uh, you can say ' _eres bello_ '. Although ' _guapo_ ' would be more usual, it's like handsome. But... If you're going to say it to me, my mother tongue is actually Catalan.”

”Huh?”

”Yeah. It's spoken on the islands and the northeastern part of Spain.”

”Oh. I feel stupid.”

”No, don't. I use Spanish all the time, too.” He strokes Adam's face. ” _Ets bonic_ ,” he whispers, Adam then repeating it.

Whatever Adam is doing to his hair tickles a little.

”What are you doing?” he asks smiling.

”Shh, it's fun. They stay like that when you stick them in.” Adam picks another strand of hay and sticks it into Javi's curls.

Adam giggles suddenly.

”Can I mention another sex situation? Or is it too weird now?”

”Sure you can.”

”Okay, so a long time ago one guy actually got mad at me for goofing around during sex. He was rolling his eyes, got all hissy about it. A real queen. It was so funny.”

His laugh comes a little late.

”You don't think it's funny,” Adam says.

”No, I do. It's really funny. I just remembered I have to get back to work.”

It's not that Adam has had previous partners—he's not jealous about that. He's had his own partners too, with no regrets. It's that during the next rodeo Adam attends, he will probably find another rodeo date. Maybe this is something Adam does at every rodeo he goes to. Javi doesn't actually know. Honestly, that's not the vibe he gets from Adam, but he doesn't really know for sure. Examining why he feels so strange about it is not something he wants to do right now.


	5. Chapter 5

Bleary-eyed, Javi is finishing feeding the broncos the next morning, alone since José has already gone back to bed after taking care of the bulls.

A nap would be wonderful after this. Some commotion reaches his ears from one of the corrals, though, the broncos in it alarmed by who knows what.

"Take it easy in there," he tells them in a calm voice

To his alarm it looks like the gate is slightly open. He didn't close it properly. As luck would have it, one agitated bronco near the gate backs against it, causing it to open. In the blink of an eye two horses run straight out.

Javi's shouting makes the other broncos back away and he runs to close the gate, but the ones that got away are heading straight for the open country.

Shit, shit, _shit_. He's grabbing his hat with both hands. Horses don't usually leave their herd, or at least go very far on their own, but now there are two spooked runaways on the loose together, getting smaller and smaller as they gallop away.

What to do? He could take one of the Quarter horses that are used in the arena and go after them, but it would be safest to have someone with him to herd the broncos near. The trailers are much closer than the workers' quarters. It's only logical to go banging on Adam's door.

The noise makes Antinous give a questioning bray at the back of the trailer. After a while the door opens.

Adam is standing in front of him shirtless, jeans pulled up but quite carelessly, belt hanging open and the zipper only half closed. It seems Adam has been sleeping naked and pulled only his jeans on, because there is no sign of any underwear, only a trail of reddish-brown hairs.

Despite the situation, he feels a stab of lust.

”Javi? What's wrong?” Adam asks in a rough voice, swiping a hand through his hair.

He explains it. Right away Adam agrees to come along

”Take your rope!” Javi says before running towards the stables.

Quickly he saddles a bay horse he knows, grabbing a lasso with him. When Adam comes riding on Antinous, he's now wearing a t-shirt and a denim jacket that matches Javi's.

”He's grumpy, he thought I was coming to feed him,” Adam says as they meet up.

They head for the open field, speeding to a gallop. In the distance the terrain rises into some very low hills, but he knows the fields continue after them endlessly, the city left behind them. There's a small river to the left, though, so he hopes it means the broncos have gone either in a straight line or veered to the right.

Finally they reach the hills, slowing down and pulling to a stop to scan the horizon.

”There,” he says, pointing to two small dots that seem to be staying still.

They take off in a relaxed canter. Eventually the broncos notice them, but continue grazing. As they get nearer, though, the runaways get a move on.

”Let's try catching one,” he says to Adam. ”I'm sure the other one will follow.”

Adam speeds up on Antinous and circles to the left, Javi steering his horse to the right. The broncos are running between them, and he talks to them softly, thinking they might recognise his voice. He sees Adam start swinging his lasso, releasing it so the loop flies to the bronco on his side, but misses it narrowly. The bronco gives a little buck as it runs, startled by the rope, the pair of them now galloping faster. Javi cues his horse to speed up, holding the reins and the end of the lasso in one hand and swinging the loop in a wide arc with the other, aiming for the bronco on his side. He lets it leave his grasp. The lasso lands perfectly over the horse's head, and he tightens it around its neck, starting to slow down and calm the horses with his voice.

While slowing down, though, it feels like there is something going on with his own horse's leg. He brings his horse to a stop, the bronco accepting its fate and its friend staying close.

”That was amazing!” Adam reaches them on Antinous. ”You're really fucking good at that.”

”Blind luck,” he says while dismounting. He ties the end of the rope to his horses's saddle and then kneels down to check up on the leg.

”Is he limping?” Adam asks.

”Yeah. I don't feel anything, though.” He examines the leg with his hands, picking the hoof up and checking if there is a stone stuck in the horse's shoe, but there's nothing. He walks the horse and then makes it trot. The limp is noticeable when the horse trots, Adam confirming it.

They determine it could be a mild sprain, but the horse shouldn't run, and it's best if it's not ridden.

”Well.” Adam dismounts and starts taking Antinous' saddle off. ”You're coming with me. We'll be more comfortable without the saddle.”

”I—okay.” It's true that otherwise he would have to sit behind the saddle, almost on Antinous' rump. A Western saddle is large, but the actual seat holds only one person.

”Are you sure you don't have any secret motive?” he asks with a smile.

”It's no secret. If our ride back lasts a long time, I want to have you against me.” Adam wiggles his eyebrows.

They throw the saddle over Javi's horse's saddle, tying their hats onto it too so they don't poke at each other with their brims when sitting together. Then Adam jumps on Antinous, holding his hand to Javi. He takes it and is half-pulled behind Adam.

Adam gives the signal for Antinous and they start the walk back, Javi's horse following them freely and the broncos behind it.

”You know I'm gonna get hard,” he says. Sitting like this, he's pressed snugly against Adam from hip all the way to their boots. The movements of the horse rock them together. ”I'm a little crazy about your ass.”

”I hope so.” Adam turns to look at him. ”You haven't shaved. It's cute.”

He hasn't, usually doing it after feeding the horses. There's some stubble growing on his chin. He leans in for a kiss before Adam turns back.

With a sigh he wraps his arms lightly around Adam's waist and relaxes into it. They must be over three miles from the rodeo grounds, so if they walk... It's going to take about an hour to get back. He'll be late for work, but they'll be back before anyone really starts missing him or the Quarter horse.

Antinous' reddish coat feels soft and warm under him, the horse's back thankfully wide and comfortable to sit, unlike some horses' that have a bony spine.

It's still very early in the morning, the sun not very high up yet. Birds are singing and four sets of hooves are hitting the ground softly. Occasionally there is a distant hum of traffic. Really, it is only their yawns and Adam's talking breaking the peaceful morning. It's nice, though, and Javi participates by making agreeing sounds or soft comments with his cheek pressed against the denim jacket.

Eventually Adam quietens down and they enjoy the ride. Despite Javi's earlier comment, he gets only a little aroused pressed so tightly against Adam, so it doesn't bother him. It's a nice warm feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Slowly the sky turns from an orangey light brighter and brighter, a few odd clouds in the sky. Sitting bareback, he can feel Antinous' muscles working beneath him, the movements swaying them gently. How tranquil it is to be cuddled up against Adam.

After some time he straightens up, though. He stares at the back of Adam's neck, stuck in thought, and then carefully slides his arm over Adam's shoulder and across his chest, wraps another arm tightly around Adam's waist. He's hugging Adam to him, hopefully not clinging but offering a strong embrace to lean back to. It feels like Adam starts to gradually relax, letting Javi take some of his body weight and support him.

He keeps watching over Adam's shoulder as the sight of the rodeo grounds slowly gets bigger and bigger as they near it, Adam's hair soft against the side of his face.

When they're close enough that he can see people clearly, he returns his hands to Adam's waist. Back at the holding pens he slides off.

”Thank you. You okay?” he asks, looking up at Adam. Adam's eyes are red.

”Yeah.” Adam laughs. ”Fuck, I'm really tired. I'm going back to sleep for a bit. I'll see you later, okay?”

He nods, feeling a little bit as if he's being brushed off, since Adam doesn't suggest any concrete plans of when and where to meet. But Adam must be so tired. After Adam has turned Antinous to walk towards the trailers, Javi starts leading the broncos back to where they belong.

\---

In the afternoon Javi is taking a stroll and trying to see if he can find Adam anywhere. Barrel racing starts soon and Adam has mentioned a friend of his is racing. After a while he does spot Adam, standing next to a fence.

Adam hasn't spotted him yet, though, so he takes a moment to observe and just enjoy what he's seeing. Such a pretty man, in a cute black and blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Adam is looking around like he's searching for something. It's a little thrilling to think Adam is probably looking for him.

Then Adam does something that shocks Javi. He takes out the blue bandana handkerchief from his pocket.

The feeling is awful, too awful. Like a crushing weight on his chest.

Fuck, he should have known, shouldn't he? Way too gorgeous, way too magnetic. Completely out of Javi's league—he's not worthy of being a rodeo date for someone like Adam. Besides, it looks like Adam is a player.

Biting his lips together and fighting back the horrible lump in his throat, he watches as Adam takes off his hat, wipes his forehead with the handkerchief, then wipes his neck and...

And puts it back into his pocket.

Oh.

After a second of dumb staring, a laughter starts bubbling up. He's laughing silently, covering his face with his hands and dropping down into a crouch from the force of it.

A pair of perfectly polished cowboy boots appear in front of him.

”Whatcha doing down there?” Adam asks.

”Being an idiot,” he mumbles through his fingers.

”Oh. I do that a lot myself.”

”I thought—I saw you take out the hanky, so...”

Adam doesn't say anything, so Javi looks up. Thankfully Adam doesn't look pissed and there's a slight smile on his face. Javi takes the offered hand and gets pulled up.

”Hey. When I've promised to be with someone, I don't fuck around.” Adam holds his hand for an extra second before dropping it.

”Yeah. Sorry. And you know, this is only a rodeo date and not a marriage, so, I'd get it.”

It's awkward.

”I was hoping I'd catch you,” Adam says. ”Barrel racing is next. Are you working?”

”I have the exciting job of opening and closing the gate.”

Adam laughs loudly. ”Sounds thrilling. I should go say hi to my friend. You wanna come along?”

The friend is called Alisan. She looks tiny next to Adam and the black horse that she's getting ready. Barrel racing is an event for women, in which the horse and rider have to go around three barrels as fast as possible.

”It's nice to see someone with Adam,” she half-whispers to Javi when Adam is helping her to put the saddle on. How she manages it alone, he has no idea. ”He has a lot of friends, but rodeos can be a lonely business. Often it's just him, and Antinous when he takes him with him.”

”I'm just keeping him company this week...”

”Well, for a day, for a week—it's still nice.”

Adam has actually mentioned something about how lonely and boring it can get to drive around to attend rodeos. That even though he meets old friends at some rodeos, it's really hard to form new friendships when the majority of rodeos last for one or two days. Not to mention the difficulty of not easily recognising who are _your people_.

”Javi is very cute,” Alisan says to Adam when he's done. It keeps being an embarrassing day, except for the part of the morning that was lovely, after the embarrassment of letting two broncos on the loose.

”I know,” Adam says. ”Lucky me.”

Really, so embarrassing, but there's a warm glow inside.

”What do you actually do outside of rodeos?” Javi asks when they are walking back towards the arena. ”You've said something about having bought a new ranch.”

”Yeah! It's gonna be amazing. I'm building a new stable there and fixing up the house. All rodeo money.”

There is lucrative money in rodeo, but it doesn't take up your entire time, rodeos usually organised during weekends.

”And you have horses?”

”A few. I raise Quarters on a small scale. I'm employing two people.”

”What else, though? What do you do?” He wants to know what Adam's life is like, what he does each day. He's not sure if he should be asking. They haven't been talking about their lives much, and it feels like it has been intentional. This is a one time thing, a bubble they're existing in for the duration of the rodeo. 

”What do I do?” Adam rubs his beard. ”Well. Sometimes I go to a friend's ranch to practice, he raises bucking broncs. I go to town to have a drink when I can. Lots of friends come over to my place to hang out and party. It's quite a different crowd than what you see here. You'd like them. Many of them play instruments, so I sing and they play.”

”I'd like to hear th—your singing,” he says.

They reach the arena.

”Come over to my trailer tomorrow,” Adam says. ”After the rodeo. Win or lose, we'll have a good time tomorrow night.”

Of course he agrees. A kiss would be nice, but there are people everywhere.

\---

He doesn't sleep well, quite likely more nervous for Adam than Adam himself. The combined score from two bareback rides is what settles the winner in this rodeo. He's watching the other riders as he prepares the broncos, the cowboy who came first the previous time now riding before Adam, and again doing very well.

This time Javi had made sure to give an even longer good luck kiss. Kisses. Countless of them, until Adam had looked like he didn't give a fuck about the rodeo and wanted to skip to the evening already.

There are only a couple of riders left before it's Adam's turn. A bronco from the chute next to Javi's bursts out. After a few bucks the rider loses his grip. It's not the first fall that day by far, but it happens at a moment when the motion sends the rider backwards, making him fly over the horse's rump and fall behind it. It seems like the bronco's kick hits the cowboy. Going out 'through the backdoor' like that is the worst because of the risk of getting kicked.

A shocked noise leaves the audience, people running towards the cowboy lying on the ground. Javi's coworker Matt is one of them, and it's only now that he realises the name he'd heard announced must belong to Matt's cousin. The guy isn't moving. Someone brings over stretchers and he's carried away. Surely that must mean he's alive and being taken to a hospital? They wouldn't move him if he was dead, right? He doesn't know how these things work.

For the first time he fully realises how dangerous all of this is. People have told him that compared to bull riding, bronco riding isn't generally as dangerous, but fatalities still happen sometimes. Or people just get badly injured, paralysed.

He feels sick, his hands clammy with sweat. How do people who actually have someone they care about riding rodeo do this?

Now he's terrified for Adam.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to keep the smut in hard M, but cowboy A & J disagreed. So I think I somehow managed to write explicit smut without being very explicit.

”Are you okay?” Adam asks when he joins Javi on the platform. ”Your face is white.”

The rodeo has continued after the accident with an announcement that everything would carry on as normal.

”I'm fine.” He can't ruin this for Adam, he just can't. Suddenly he craves for a smoke really badly, more than for a long time since he's quit.

When Adam gets on the bronco, Javi pretends that he needs to tighten the rigging once more and leans close.

”Be safe,” he whispers and forces a smile on his face.

Adam has his few seconds of stillness, and then it's on.

The desire to close his eyes for the eight seconds is strong. He keeps them open.

The white bronco is not known as an exceptional bucker, but Adam is doing a beautiful job of encouraging it to perform better than usual, a textbook example of using his spurs right. Javi can't get the nightmare vision of Adam's grip leaving the handle out of his mind, though, but what his eyes are seeing is another fantastic ride from Adam.

_Please stay on._

It's over. When Adam has his feet on the ground again, Javi is almost tempted to whisper a quick thank you prayer in Catalan, which would be very out of character for him.

Adam's score for the second ride is an incredible 91—scores in the 90s are exceptionally good, most being somewhere between the 60s and 80s. Despite still feeling somewhat shaky, Javi is now laughing from happiness and relief. The result is almost certain now, but cannot be declared before every rider has finished.

In the end it is obvious, the champion announced and Adam walks back to the arena, this time not having changed in between. Javi climbs to sit on top of the metal fence to watch. Adam tips his hat to the audience, looking happy. The prize money is going to be $4,000. It's a lot of money, you could get a very nice car with that. The cheers sound loud to Javi, and a few cowboys are slapping Adam's back, but he wonders. If people knew for sure, would anyone cheer? Would Adam even have won, the judges somehow finding faults in the ride where there were none?

”Congratulations,” he says grinning when Adam walks closer holding a trophy. ”You were amazing, I'm so happy for you.”

”Aww, thank you.” Adam steps on the lowest bar of the fence but doesn't climb up. ”All thanks to your lovely good luck wishes, I'm sure. Are you feeling better?”

”Yeah. The fall made me feel... Weird.”

”Do you know the guy?” Adam's eyes are so kind as he looks up at Javi.

”He's my coworker's cousin.”

”I'm sorry, that's awful. You must be really worried.” Adam glances behind him where someone is shouting for him. ”I think I gotta go.”

”No, I was scared for you,” Javi admits in a hushed voice, gripping the metal bar of the fence, but he's not sure if Adam hears him over the noise of the audience leaving. Adam looks at him a bit questioningly like he didn't hear, but the shouting gets stronger, so he turns to yell that he's coming.

”Come over when you're free,” Adam says and jogs away.

\---

Adam is outside with Antinous when Javi arrives. He notices the horse is tied to the back of the trailer with a leash attached high up, so it allows the horse to lie down but doesn't get tangled in his feet.

Adam is hugging Antinous' head against his chest, the horse's eyes closed, ears turned out to the side, one back leg cocked a little, all meaning he is super relaxed.

”There's a good boy,” Javi says.

”I needed to give him some love,” Adam says with his chin on top of the horse's head. ”I'm a bit late with everything. I'll give him the hay and then we can just be.”

”I'm late too, the line for the showers was long,” Javi says, brushing his fingers through the still damp curls.

They leave the horse to eat. At this hour, when it's slowly getting dark, the inside of the trailer looks even nicer. The lamps that Adam lights give the place a warm soft atmosphere. Javi takes his boots and socks off and buries his toes into the faux fur rug.

Adam closes the window blinds. ”Make yourself at home. Tequila?”

He sinks down into the leopard print bean bag chair with a sigh, stretching his legs, and gets handed a glass.

Adam opens one of the closets and then starts taking his jeans off.

”I like this view,” Javi says taking an even more comfortable position.

Adam gives him a sly smile but busies himself with changing. He's shaking his ass just a little from side to side, though, while dressing in soft-looking maroon trousers that have a flare at the bottom and a loose white silk shirt.

Javi takes a sip of the tequila, prepared to not like it as usual, but it tastes surprisingly different.

”This is actually... Okay.”

Adam laughs. ”It's the good stuff, not the cheap one you've been drinking in a bar.”

”Is this expensive?” Maybe he should appreciate it even more if Adam is wasting expensive tequila on him. Although, the man has money.

”I suppose.”

”You gonna buy more with the prize money?” he asks.

”Absolutely,” Adam says sitting down on the rug next to Javi with a tequila of his own and pulling out a box. ”And some records.” The box is full of records. Adam starts shuffling through them.

”Your win made me wonder,” Javi says. ”Would you have won if they knew of your sexuality?”

”Who knows. I don't care if they find out.” Adam takes out a record and places it on a record player on the floor. ”It's none of their business, so I'm not gonna spell it out for them, but they only need to come to Reno in October to find out.”

”Reno?”

”The gay rodeo.”

Has no idea what Adam is talking about. He blinks his eyes slowly. The music starts playing, nothing he recognises.

”This is the fourth one they're doing,” Adam tells him. ”It's been growing every year.”

”A rodeo for gay people? How have I never heard of this?”

”Because you're such a fresh, sweet, sheltered babe.” Adam takes Javi's hand and kisses it.

”I'm not so sheltered, though,” he says mock-grumpily.

”I know. You can _ride_. And...” A little gasp leaves Adam, like he's remembering the barn and being affected by it. He drags a hand over his face, grinning behind it.

”Anyway! I'm not surprised you haven't heard. It's not widely known, people advertise it mostly underground. But it's not like the existence is kept hidden. It's actually brilliant, because even though just by attending it you could take a look and see who else is there, no homophobic cowboy will do that. They'd be afraid of everyone else thinking they're gay. It's really nice, though. I have lots of friends there, it's so liberating compared to this. And it's for everyone, really. Straight people are welcome, if they want to come, but in the team-based competitions they have gay, lesbian and drag teams.”

Javi chokes on his tequila a little.

”I love that.”

”Oh, this is the one I wanted to play for you.” Adam stops the music and replaces the record with another one. The music that starts is again unfamiliar to Javi. He does like rock, though. It's just that he hardly ever has opportunities to hear it not owning a record player and most of the bars playing country.

It starts with frantic piano playing before other instruments join in and a male voice starts singing.

”I love the singer's voice. They're a pretty new British band called Queen. This is their second album, but I haven't been able to find the first one yet.”

When the song ends, Adam starts it all over again, this time lowering the volume. He starts singing over the singer, at times blending in with the singer's voice, but mostly it's only Adam's voice that Javi can hear.

And he's stunned by what he hears. This can't be the same voice that sang the anthem so nice and pretty. This is pretty too, but in a totally different way. Adam could be a rock star. Singing such crazy things, and all of it while just lounging on a rug in a half-sitting position.

Having Adam look at him while singing the lyrics _you are mine, I possess you, make love to you forever, ever, ever_ makes him feel flushed all over. The last _ever_ is insane, Adam reaching insane heights by what looks like just a simple tilt of his head.

”Uh. Holy shit, you should be in a rock band.”

Adam laughs brightly. ”I don't know. Do you see any rock bands around here? I'd have to be living in a big city. That's another life.”

It's not so hard to imagine, though. Adam's charisma would be perfectly suited for a stage.

”You sound incredible,” he says.

”You're sweet.” Adam wraps his hand around Javi's bare ankle and squeezes. ”I love to play with my friends. I guess we do kind of pretend we're rock stars sometimes. What about Bowie, do you know him?” Adam starts switching the record.

Bowie he's heard of, that Starman song a couple of years ago in Denver, although probably not since.

Adam returns to stroking Javi's ankle while they listen.

Everything is just making him really happy. The tequila has gone to his head a bit.

”Feels nice,” he says.

Adam leans closer to kiss Javi's big toe, making him giggle, and then leaves a trail of kisses along the arch of his foot to his ankle. Javi holds out his arms expectantly. The bean bag makes a squishy noise when Adam adds his weight to it, Javi sinking further in and Adam's hair ending up over his face.

They crack up hard, shaking against each other until Adam shifts his weight to the side a bit, supporting himself on his elbow. Once their giggles subside, Adam gets a look on his face. Or rather puts it there, its deliberacy not making it any less effective—on the contrary. He's looking at Javi with his lips parted and slowly licking over the top of his teeth.

Javi leans in close to Adam's lips teasingly a few times, until he flicks his tongue across Adam's parted mouth. They both make a sound and he does it again, dragging his tongue slower.

He might well die from this, or come from this, one or the other, Javi thinks as Adam is pressing him against the ridiculous chair, mouth sealed over his and hips nudging slowly between Javi's spread legs. Adam's skin feels hot when Javi puts his hand through the shirt's wide collar and touches the shape of that chest.

”Is that good?” he asks into the kiss while brushing his thumb slowly over a nipple again and again.

” _Mmh_.”

Another wet kiss.

”You're so hot,” Adam says, curling his fingers around Javi's slender arm. ”I don't think you realise how hot.”

”You're the hot one here.” He takes a firmer grip of Adam's right buttock through the soft pants and gives it a little jiggle.

”Well. How lucky then—” A kiss. ”That we find each other so hot.”

”Yes,” he says grinning. ”Almost as if—” he swallows the rest and focuses on kissing Adam and letting himself get lost in the heady sensations coursing through his body.

”I've been thinking,” Javi says after a while, but talking is difficult when he needs to kiss everywhere, his lips meeting the corner of Adam's mouth, a thick beard, then Adam's neck. ”About what we did in the barn—” His mouth is captured, lower lip taken between Adam's lips. ”All the fucking time,” he gasps. ”I want that again. I want your dick.”

He thinks Adam might laugh at the sincere statement, but instead Adam buries his head against Javi's neck and moans loudly, changing his position so he has leverage to push his hips harder, the soft pants doing absolutely nothing to constrain the large bulge pressing against Javi's jeans. It makes him tilt his hips up in turn. Fuck, he wants this man so much.

”Come on,” Adam manages after a while, struggling to get up. ”We're not fucking on the bean bag.” Javi gets pulled up, ending up swaying on his feet and taking support from Adam's shoulders as Adam's hands frantically open his belt and jeans. The jeans get pushed barely over the swell of his ass, one finger going between the cheeks.

A high-pitched whine leaves him and he gets kissed, the finger pressing possessively.

After a good long while of kissing, Adam turns them around. In the small trailer that brings them in front of the step that leads to the raised bed area at the end of the trailer. He climbs onto it. The sheets smell good. They have to be careful not to bang their heads against the roof while undressing.

Javi waits with his arms crossed behind his head while Adam rummages through a side cabinet. ”No Vaseline?” he asks when he sees an unfamiliar looking package.

”Vaseline is made of all kinds of shit that isn't mean for humans. Crisco is better, it's basically vegetable oils in a solid form that melts. So it's safe even if you eat it. You should start demanding it of your lovers.”

_You're my lover. At least for now._

This time, it's even better, the way sex can be after the first time with a new partner. Most of your nerves are out of the way, there is at least some established intimacy, and you've been waiting for it with something real to base your fantasies on: memories of a taste, touch, scent. And sound, definitely the sound with Adam. To be honest, it's not like Javi has extensive experience on which to base this theory, but some at least, even if nothing as intense as this.

It feels like they're both hungrier for it, stupid with lust. Javi is almost sobbing lying on his stomach when just the tip slides in and Adam refuses to push deeper for the longest time, hands keeping Javi's hips down.

”Come on, cowboy,” he says and gets the cowboy fully in and on him, laughing against his ear and biting his earlobe.

The first round is followed by a second round with not a lot of time in between, this time with no torture from Adam, and no giggling from them, just a relentless thrusting that nears on desperate, with Javi on his back.

Afterwards, when Javi is sufficiently wiped dry from their release, he pats Adam's thigh.

”Just rest, you did all the work.” He springs up from the bed and fetches them water. Then he lies down for a moment with his cheek on Adam's belly.

”Well, you definitely found the softest and fattest pillow around here,” Adam says.

”Shut the fuck up. It's perfect.” He parts his lips and kisses the freckled skin, noses the soft hairs. Adam's hand pets his curls.

”I gotta go,” he says.

”What?”

Javi hasn't heard Adam's voice sound like that before.

”I don't _want_ to go. We have a curfew. I have to get back. They don't want us getting drunk or high or screwing around ending up in someone's bed when we have to work the next day. Me especially, since I'm responsible for feeding horses.”

”Oh. Well, you already did two of those.”

He laughs. ”Yeah, I did. Pretty fantastically. But I don't do the third one.”

”I don't either,” Adam says sitting up and reaching to stroke Javi's cheek. ”Tomorrow, then?”

He gives Adam a lingering kiss. ”Tomorrow.”

 _Two full days left after this_ , he thinks while getting dressed. On the third one the rodeo ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Those of you who can't get over Adam/Sauli, who say vile things about Adam and Javi and want to come to my comments to showcase your idiocy, don't waste your time. I have zero patience for your absolute fucking nonsense. I can always turn my comments moderated. Others: Just ignore this, I don't want to discuss trolls.)


	7. Chapter 7

Now that there is not much time left for them, they try to make the most of what they have. At least that's how Javi sees it, and to his relief it doesn't seem like Adam thinks he's being clingy by suggesting they do everything together. Almost everything. Dragging Adam out of bed at 5 am would be too cruel, since he apparently goes to bed very late. Adam also has to take a moment to go for a promised long ride with Alisan, and to give a lesson in bareback bronco riding for pre-teens, demonstrating his techniques on Antinous. But otherwise they use every free moment Javi has, and Adam hangs around even when Javi is working. Or supposed to be working. Sometimes there is an urgent need to drag Adam somewhere for some amorous kissing.

Of course, Adam's presence draws attention. The moment Javi is alone, Matt catches him to rag him about it. However, Matt seems to be too dense and unimaginative to realise the nature of their relationship. He accuses Javi of trying to get a job from Adam by kissing his ass, or somehow trying to worm his way into Adam's entourage. Javi lets it go over his head. Matt is worried about his cousin, so he keeps bullying everyone. As long as he isn't mean to horses or his girlfriend Hannah, Javi doesn't care.

They get food together from the various stalls.

”A vegetarian?” Javi stops dead and stares. ”How can you be a vegetarian... Here? What do you eat?” He gestures at the stalls, most of which are selling steaks, burgers, corn dogs—just meat in various forms.

Adam laughs. ”I just ask for it without the meat. There's an amazing taco stall that drops the meat if I ask, they just put in extra beans and corn. I do get stares, though.”

”A vegetarian cowboy,” Javi says smiling.

If Javi teases Adam about it, then Adam teases him in turn when he wants to get cotton candy.

”It's mostly just air. You're paying to eat air and a spoonful of sugar.”

”I know. I'm not paying, you are.”

Adam buys it for him and then gets cotton candy all over his beard, the stuff sticking to it when Javi mashes a handful against Adam's mouth.

They stroll through the artisans' stalls, looking at all the beautiful riding gear and craftsmanship. Javi spots a saddle blanket with a leopard print. A part of him wants to buy it for Adam as a gift, but that would be stupid. Instead, he points it out to Adam, and as expected Adam gets excited and buys it to use on Antinous.

They go to watch a powwow in the Indian Village that is part of the rodeo grounds. At first Javi is startled by how loud Adam is when he cheers, but it seems to make the dancers happy, and it's very endearing and encourages others to cheer, too. Afterwards Javi follows as Adam goes from dancer to dancer to admire their regalia, amused by the way Adam's eyes are shining when he sees designs that he likes.

Knowing that they'll part soon, their affair seems to intensify, even though it should probably do the opposite. The weather seems to reflect it, sweltering heat arriving to Cheyenne, thunder in the air. When they're using Javi's lunch break to have sex, it's sweaty, their bodies sliding and slipping against each other.

”My thigh almost cramped when I came,” Adam says with a tired giggle, lying on his stomach next to Javi on the bed. So that's what the extra shouting was.

He's on his back, glistening chest rising and falling as he catches his breath. Contracting his muscles down there makes some of the release that Adam put inside him slide out. Everything is too much, so he turns his head to reach Adam's hand that is on the pillow next to him and takes Adam's thumb into his mouth, while his body gives a few more trembles. He thinks about how this is probably the second to last time they're having sex.

The question 'what are we' keeps burning in Javi's throat, but he knows the answer has not changed. Adam was only looking for someone to have an affair with during the rodeo. And that is exactly what they have done. Adam wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and he supposes neither was he. Even though he's sometimes felt lonely after his last breakup, he's already settled into his life as a single guy, living mostly in the closet as people do around here. It hasn't felt like there is any special hurry to find someone—he's not even far into his twenties yet. Besides, supposing that they both _were_ looking for a relationship, would Adam even be interested in him in that way? Javi has no idea what Adam would look for in a partner. And supposing that their interest in each other _was_ mutual, then what? How could they even keep dating, with Adam having a ranch somewhere in western Colorado and travelling all over the place because of rodeos, and Javi moving from job to job? The next job is taking him to Montana. It would just be impossible anyway.

”What do you want to do this evening?” Adam asks him with a grin. ”Wanna go have a hoedown?”

Javi shoves Adam's shoulder. ”Absolutely not.” There have been country western dances every night of the rodeo, but even if he'd never met Adam, he would have attended only if dragged there by some female friend in need of a partner. There is no way in hell he and Adam could go to dance among all the pairs of men and women.

”I'll just come here. I've been talking with another worker and I think he's willing to be bribed into feeding the horses in the morning, so I can stay for the night. He thinks I have a girl somewhere. They won't fire me at this point on the last night.”

The thunderstorm arrives in the evening, though. And it's not just a little storm that passes quickly, but a proper one. The sky gets covered in black clouds before the sun is down, the wind picking up speed. Javi is slightly worried it could develop into a tornado, even though the peak season is over. The broncos are freaking out, startled by every unexpected noise caused by the wind rattling and throwing things around: a barrel rolling by nearly causes one bronco to try jumping out over the too high fence.

He has to leave the broncos alone with José for a while when people shout for him to come help with tents that are almost tearing off the ground. Then it starts raining, first a couple of big drops landing on Javi and then it's like someone turns the shower on. In ten seconds he's drenched all over save for his hair under his hat. He doesn't even have to look at his watch to know that it's well past the time his work was supposed to end. No one's work is ending now, every worker trying to keep things together, and those people not busy looking after their own family or horse or possessions volunteering to help.

Pretty soon the ground is flooding with rainwater and Javi slips in the mud, falling flat on his stomach on his way back to the broncos. Lying there and spitting muddy water, he wonders if Adam is alright.

The darkness around him gets illuminated briefly by a lightning, followed fast by a terribly loud cracking thunder. He scrambles up and runs to the broncos. Once he gets there José shouts into his ear that one of the horses got kicked in the leg by another, so they set out to remove it from the corral.

Once that's done they try to keep the horses calm and prevent more from getting hurt. Periodically someone comes over to ask if they need help, and at first Javi keeps saying they can manage for now, until he asks for a guy to cover for him while he checks up on a friend.

He finds Adam trying to create pathways to direct the flow of the water so the trailer doesn't get completely stuck in mud. Javi's feet don't stop until he crashes into Adam, ending up in a wet and muddy embrace.

”Are you okay?” Adam shouts. ”I wanted to come find you, but I couldn't leave Antinous, he's—he's in his stall in the trailer, but he's freaking out and I just couldn't—”

”I know, I'm okay.” The rain that falls on their hats creates a funny sound. He leans back to look at Adam. ”I just wanted to see you and make sure. I have to go back.”

”Come back when this is over. And for fuck's sake don't go running around in an open area.”

It's not over soon. Instead of passing by, the thunderstorm keeps circling over, until at last the rumbling seems to come from far away and the pouring rain eases a little.

When Javi drags his feet towards Adam's trailer in the dark, he feels like crying. Maybe it's because he's so tired, but it feels like the storm has ruined everything. Their last evening was supposed to be spent together; it was supposed to be something lovely. Now it's almost four in the morning, he's been awake for 23 hours and he's worried about everything: the horses, if the people who were staying on the rodeo grounds are okay, if the closing ceremony can even be organised in a few hours, what kind of a chaos it will be to pull vehicles from mud and to clean the place up.

He undresses down to his boxers before knocking on Adam's door. He's received wordlessly, Adam taking the wet pile of clothes from him and steering him towards the tiny bathroom compartment of the trailer and the shower that's barely large enough to turn around in.

Wrapped in a towel, Javi stumbles out and collapses into bed. He falls asleep to a hand stroking his curls.

"Poor baby."

\---

When he wakes up, Adam is already awake.

”Did you sleep at all?” he mumbles.

”I did. It's almost eight o'clock.”

Javi's eyes hurt, but he forces them fully open. The sight that greets him makes him giggle.

”Do you have a hair brush?” he asks.

”Over there. Why, is it crazy?”

”Yes.” Adam's hair is all over the place.

He takes the brush and makes Adam sit on the bed. He's never done this before. Brushed someone's hair. He does it slowly.

”It's been nice,” Adam says into the silence with his back to Javi, making Javi's heart first plummet somewhere into his stomach and then fly to his throat. ”When are you leaving?”

”In the afternoon,” he says with a level voice. ”I'll help with what I can before I leave, but other people are gonna do the cleanup. Someone I work with is giving me a ride to Casper. I'll hitchhike north to Montana from there.”

”Hey.” Adam turns his head a fraction. ”Be smart with that. You know what some asshole could demand for a payment. Especially from someone like you.”

”What do you mean, someone like me?” Javi pauses with the brushing.

”Someone beautiful like that.”

”I'll be careful,” he says and continues, even though Adam's hair has long since been brushed in order.

”Will I bump into you in some rodeo?” comes a tentative question.

”I don't know. At least if I'm working in one some day. Do you have a lot of rodeos lined up?”

”Some. The first one is in a couple of weeks but it's close to home. Will I see you in Reno?”

”I'm in Montana until Christmas,” he says. So the 'no' is obvious.

”Okay. I'll make you breakfast before you go.”

Right, there isn't even time to have sex now, and it's not like the mood is correct for it either. Turns out the last time they had sex was actually the very last time. Javi wraps the towel around his waist, suddenly feeling like it's necessary, before he gets up and goes to the bathroom. It looks like Adam has showered his clothes clean from the mud, but they're still all wet, hanging in the shower.

He asks for a permission to borrow clothes for the day, and puts on jeans and a shirt that are too big for him. Adam puts a record on before starting to make eggs, and it feels like it's so that it wouldn't be silent in the trailer.

\---

The morning is sunny, puddles all over the place but the sun doing its best to dry everything. Javi's brain is foggy. After dropping by his quarters to change into dry clothes of his own, he starts helping around. The closing ceremony happens after lunch time, but he can't say he remembers anything from it afterwards.

He's agreed to meet Adam before his ride leaves, so he walks to Adam's trailer carrying his bags. Adam is brushing Antinous, but it looks like he's all ready to go, too. Javi sets his bags on the ground to give Antinous a pat.

”Your clothes,” he says and hands them to Adam.

”Thanks. Listen, I had a good time,” Adam says looking at him intently. ”I'm glad we met.”

”Me too.” He can't stop wondering if Adam is going to look for another rodeo date at the next rodeo he goes to. He could ask, but there is no way it wouldn't be painful. He wouldn't be able to ask it normally, and Adam could get a pitying look on his face. Or Adam could wink and laugh, say that you never know what handsome cowboy you'll come across.

”Maybe you'll think this is stupid, but here's my address.” Adam holds out a piece of paper. ”It could be nice to keep in touch. There's no phone at the new ranch yet, they haven't set up a line there yet. But if you ever feel like writing and telling me how you're doing...”

”Sure. That would be nice.” He smiles at Adam and takes the paper before wrapping his arms around Adam. ”Thank you.” There are people around, so he only presses a quick kiss against Adam's neck and pulls away. He can't remember when they had their last kiss, but it's better this way.

He smiles harder, because otherwise he's going to cry, and looks at Adam to memorise the sight.

”I'd better go. Don't hurt yourself in rodeos.”

”I won't. Good luck in Montana.”

Somehow Javi manages to pick up his bags and start walking, heading to the parking lot. Matt waves at him from an open car window. He's thankful that the front seat is taken by Hannah, so he's left in peace on the back seat, not having to care about whether or not he's crying.


	8. Chapter 8

Three weeks into Javi's five month apprenticeship, and the monotony has truly set in. In the beginning the novelty had helped in fighting against the heartache left by what happened in Cheyenne.

”Good ride, Javi.”

”Yeah. It was.” He dismounts the young horse he's been riding on. The route he and the ranch owner Tom had taken had passed through a beautiful forest and mountain scenery, but it had been difficult to enjoy it to the fullest.

In order to keep his thoughts in check, he's been trying to pour his energy into the routine of training horses alongside Tom, well-known for his hard discipline but gentle training methods, and doing his part of ranch chores and exercising the horses.

There are also two ranch hands working there, but socializing with them just feels exhausting, except for playing cards sometimes. The inevitable free hours Javi tries to spend by reading Tom's books or watching television in the workers' common room. It feels better to work as much as he can, but nothing besides the training work really demands his full attention. So there is too much time for thinking.

Javi untacks and grooms his horse before going to his own room in the workers' log cabin. After closing the door he opens a drawer and takes out a paper bag. Inside is a blue bandana hanky, which he brings under his nose and inhales. The scent is still strong. It hits him instantly, in the way that he imagines getting high on drugs would be like, although probably nothing like it in reality. He closes his eyes and inhales again. It makes a warm feeling settle into his body, butterflies appear in his stomach, but it also makes his heart hurt.

The hanky has been in Adam's pocket, it has soaked his sweat, maybe been worn around Adam's neck. It just smells like him, exactly the scent Javi remembers breathing in when lying wrapped around Adam. A leathery-spicy, masculine scent.

He opens his eyes a bit and sees himself in the mirror. A slim young man with brown curls in a green shirt and jeans, sniffing another man's hanky like he's the most lovesick person there ever was. It's a little pathetic. What would Adam think if he knew? He's quite certain Adam doesn't know, though. Javi stole it the last morning when he left Adam's trailer, but if Adam has even noticed the disappearance, he must think he's dropped it.

It makes him embarrassed every time he takes it out. One time he even put a corner of it into his mouth. Yet he can't bring himself to stop. Instead he treasures the thing, keeps it in the paper bag to make the scent last for as long as possible.

He puts it away and sits on the creaking bed. Night-time is when he actually lets thoughts of Adam fill his mind and doesn't try to fight them. In his own safe cocoon under the blanket, he remembers Adam's eyes, his laugh, what his touch felt like, and how Adam had responded to Javi's touch. He goes over everything they did together and either lets it to lull him to sleep if exhausted, or touches himself, experiencing momentary bliss but then a hollow feeling afterwards.

For the entire three weeks he's been trying to figure out what to write to Adam. He didn't want to write too soon; it would have felt embarrassing. But three weeks should be a normal time after which to write to a person who has requested to be told how Javi is doing.

He's abandoned about a hundred drafts and burnt them outside, but the current draft will probably be the one he sends.

Looking over it again, he judges it sufficiently friendly but detached in order to test the waters and see what Adam writes back. In it he describes the ranch, the horses, his work. But briefly, it's not supposed to be a novel. Draft six was—that one got burnt along with five previous ones that had turned into all sorts of confessions. At the end of the letter he hopes Adam and Antinous are doing well. He says he wishes the rodeo had been twice as long, or that he hadn't wasted so much time on other things, when enjoying Adam's company had been the best part of it. He writes that adjusting to normal life has been a little hard after a rodeo like that. What that means, of course, is that he misses Adam. Not that he could spell it out so literally.

Javi imagines Adam receiving the letter, having already been to another rodeo after Cheyenne and possibly having had another lover—then reading a pining letter from somebody he's already forgotten. No, better to be careful. He'll send the letter tomorrow, make sure to include his own address.

\---

It takes so long for a reply to reach him that in the interim Javi fears he's going crazy. Either something has happened to Adam or he doesn't want to reply. The letter could also have got lost. Not replying at all doesn't seem like something Adam would do.

It's already mid-September when a letter finally arrives.

> _Dear Javi,_
> 
> _Thank you for your letter. I'm sorry it has taken me this long to reply. First, I was away for a long time on a combined trip to two rodeos. When I arrived home, I was told a letter had been waiting for me for some time already. Secondly, I've been thinking of what to write. My head has been a bit of a mess recently. Thank you for telling me how you've been. I have been wondering about it constantly, but judging by your letter you have a good situation going on. I'm sure you will learn a lot there. You write beautifully._
> 
> _Readjusting to normal life after Cheyenne has been difficult for me as well. It's not every day you go to a rodeo and meet a captivating young man who is beautiful inside out. A young man, who on top of that seems to think you are worthy of his company, worthy of getting to touch him. Meeting someone like you has been a unique instance in my life. I have been experiencing loneliness and numbness for so long, waiting to feel something, but meeting you has made some rusty old gears inside me turn again. Gears that haven't been working for a long time, and for that I thank you._
> 
> _If we ever happen to a same rodeo again, or if your travels ever take you close to my neighbourhood, it would be lovely to see you, whatever our circumstances. I'm sorry that our goals and desires don't match when it comes to the search of a romantic partner, but I treasure the lovely week we spent together. Who knows, you may have met a cowboy to your liking even by now, but I hope you don't find me laughable or crude if I say that should you not be taken the next time we meet, I would not object to repeating that lovely week. As for me, I know that I will not be taken._
> 
> _With Love,_
> 
> _Adam_

Javi sits on the bed for a long time holding the letter in his hands.

It feels like... Like he needs a dictionary to understand it. Suddenly he very much questions the proficiency of his English. There are words and sentences on the paper, yes, but what is Adam actually saying? The letter sounds warm, but strangely formal, both like and unlike Adam. It sounds like something Adam would say, but not like that: it's weird to read it on a paper without all kinds of filler words, sounds, and Adam's hands waving around.

An hour later he has copied the letter in his own handwriting, circled and underlined words, added countless question marks, and drawn stick figures pulling their hair in the side margins.

It seems that writing the letter was just as hard for Adam as it had been for Javi.

These are the facts and conclusions he can draw from the letter: Adam's head has been a mess and he has been thinking about Javi constantly (!). Adam finds Javi captivating and beautiful, but appears to see himself somehow almost as unworthy of Javi's attention, which is ridiculous as it is obviously the other way round. Meeting Javi has awakened some dormant emotions inside Adam, but what that means is unclear. It kind of sounds as if Javi has pulled some kind of a switch and now Adam functions again. Now he's open for... Looking for love? But then, he clearly has a very negative assumption of the chances of that, saying he knows he won't have any boyfriend in the future.

It's so confusing. The only part that seems clearer is Adam's apology that their goals and desires don't match. So Adam must know, then, either from Javi's letter or back in Cheyenne already, how much of a goner Javi is. He's apologising that Javi is not the sort of a man he wants as a romantic partner.

A drop lands on the copy, but thankfully not the original letter. _That's right, make this even more pathetic by now drenching the entire thing._ His face crumbles.

How did he fall so in love?

He'll never meet anyone like Adam again. There _is_ no one else, and Adam is all that he wants. No, not all. But everything else that he wants is _with_ Adam. To have a life of love and laughter with Adam. To have a family with Adam, whatever that means. To have a fulfilling occupation, maybe in training horses, with Adam. To share Adam's successes by his side.

But it doesn't sound like Adam wants that with him. Even if Adam has been thinking about him (why?), he's only suggesting another rodeo date, another affair with no attachments. Would it be even more pathetic than his current lovesick situation to accept that offer? By accepting it, Javi would ruin himself, though. How could he have something like that with Adam again, and then part ways for a second time? How cruel of Adam to even suggest—that's right, it _is_ cruel, if Adam knows Javi is hopelessly in love with him. Adam isn't cruel, isn't supposed to be, so... None of this makes any sense.

He needs air, to go outside for a ride to clear his head.

\---

Several days later, and he's still mulling over the letter all the time.

Before receiving it, he had been fantasising about an alternate reality where he would have said _fuck Montana_ , and instead of getting into Matt's car, he would have thrown his bags into Adam's trailer and jumped on the front seat. Now that seems silly, because Adam would have asked _what do you think you're doing?_ Maybe even thrown him out.

Javi should reply something, but the only thing he can think of is admitting how confusing the letter has been, and asking Adam to maybe clarify some points. Javi should also give his view on whether or not their affair could ever be repeated.

He's just arriving from a ride when one of the ranch hands comes running towards him on the yard.

”You have a phone call!”

Shit. Fear grips him immediately. Unexpected phone calls terrify him, because the only reasonable explanation is that something has happened in Mallorca. Or in Denver to one of his friends. No one else should know the number for the ranch.

He jumps off the horse and leaves it to the ranch hand, running to the house. He takes his hat off before going in. Tom is sitting in a rocking chair at the end of a hallway, reading a newspaper but giving Javi an annoyed-looking upwards nod.

Javi nods back and steps into Tom's office room, picking up the receiver with a shaking hand.

”Hello?”

”Is this Javi?”

He doesn't recognise the voice.

”Yes.”

”Alright, well, you don't know me, but my name is Joey. I'm a friend of Adam's.”

Oh, God. He takes a seat.

”Is he alright?”

”Yeah, he's—yes, sorry, he is completely fine. I mean, healthy and in one piece. I'm sorry, this is so weird that I'm calling you like this. I had to dig up this number, but luckily I remembered the name of the ranch from having seen Adam's letter to you. That's the reason I'm calling.”

A noise escapes him that is half relief, half disbelief.

”This is gonna cost me a fortune anyway,” Joey continues. ”So I might as well take my time.”

That's true. The call is coming from two states away, and although it's Saturday when calls are cheaper, it isn't evening when it would be the cheapest.

”Let me start by saying that ever since Adam came back from Cheyenne, he has been a total fucking mess. He still functions, and to anyone who doesn't know him he probably seems fine, but I know him. Right away when he returned, I knew that something had happened. So, I pressed until he told me that he had met a guy. That obviously didn't explain the state he was in, but I couldn't get anything else out of him. I could only assume that the guy had broken Adam's heart, had been some real fucking bastard.”

Even though Javi doesn't think he's acted like a bastard, this imagined scenario of having behaved like that towards Adam is painful.

”But Adam truly seemed heartbroken. If you've ever experienced or seen it, you know what it looks like. A person like that is like a faded version of themselves, quieter than normally, their laugh and smile are not completely genuine. I caught him crying once, but even though we usually talk about things, I couldn't get him to talk then. He fell, you know? At a rodeo. Twice, and he was lucky he didn't break anything other than his pride. Well, twice that I know of. I wasn't present at the others.”

Joey is quiet for a second. ”You still there?”

Javi has to clear his throat before he can utter yes.

”Okay, good. You don't have to say anything in between, just grunt so I know I'm not wasting my money talking by myself. Anyway, then one day he comes to me with a request. He has this letter to write to the guy he'd met at the rodeo, but he's concerned about his spelling. See, I write for the local newspaper, so he thought I could help him make sure there are no mistakes. He was worried to the point that showing me the letter was a better option than sending one with spelling errors. He was so worried you would think him uneducated.”

The tears that are welling up and rolling down his cheeks make everything look blurry. Stupid, stupid Adam. He's not sure why this particular information hurts so much.

”So I helped him with the letter. It's his handwriting and his words; what little suggestions I had, he approved. It was quite obvious from the letter that I had been mistaken. It didn't sound like you had intentionally hurt him. Actually, it sounded like the two of you really had a lovely time together and he was completely enchanted by you. So I asked him, if that was the case, what was the problem?”

Javi grips the hat in his hand, waiting for the answer too with tears on his cheeks.

”And he said, you were quite obviously only looking for a casual hookup when you got together, and even though you had agreed to have a rodeo date that lasted for about a week, there was no way you were looking for anything more serious with Adam, no way you'd be looking for a serious relationship at your age. No way you'd want to get saddled with an old cowboy like him. He thought of you as a young man wanting to have a good time. He kept going on about how educated you were, how much of the world you've already seen, your age. That beautiful educated young men like you don't want to get tied down to guys like him.”

What is he even saying? Adam is the most amazing person he's ever met. Javi abandons the hat and tries to wipe his face with his sleeve. _I'm sorry that our goals and desires don't match when it comes to the search of a romantic partner._ Could that really have meant that Adam thinks it's Javi who doesn't want him, or a romantic partner at all?

Joey gives a heavy sigh at the other end.

”So, then I asked him if he was sure, if you had really said that to him. And you hadn't, but he was convinced. A couple of days ago I even asked Alisan about it, and while she couldn't say anything about what you two had agreed or discussed, she said you had looked like such an item. Like you were good for each other. She couldn't quite believe nothing had come out of it. So that's what finally made me decide to reach out to you. I care about Adam's happiness a lot and... Anyway, I thought you should know, 'cause I don't think the letter really revealed the state of mind Adam is in. Maybe hearing all this just makes you really uncomfortable, and if that's the case I'm—”

”But I'm in love with him,” Javi croaks out.

”You. You are?” Joey mutters something that Javi doesn't hear, but it probably isn't meant for him. ”I'm very glad to hear that, but please consider thoroughly what you want from him.”

”I already have,” he says and sniffs, feeling like he totally needs to blow his nose now. ”I didn't know right away, but once we started to get to know each other, I didn't think anything else was even an option. I thought the rodeo date was all I could have with him.”

”Okay, that part you need to sort out yourselves, God knows I've already done a lot, but I can definitely tell you with confidence that he has feelings for you.”

”I'll write to him right away.”

”Well, there's no need to hurry. It's Saturday now. On Monday he's back on the road again. He's driving to look at some horses first, and then he's going to Reno to see a friend before the rodeo there.”

Oh, no. So it's going to take ages before Adam even gets the letter.

”Do you have the friend's address or number?”

”I don't, sorry. I don't even know his last name. I mean, I could find out, but...”

”That's okay. I'll figure things out. Can I have your number just in case?”

Javi writes it down on a piece of paper he finds on Tom's desk, and they end the call with plenty of thank yous and apologies from both.

The rodeo is on the first Saturday of October. He doesn't need a lot of time to think. Fuck writing, fuck Montana. He needs to see Adam for his.

Even knowing that he must look like he's cried, he goes to find Tom.

”That took long,” Tom says staring at the newspaper. ”Whoever called must have had important things to say.”

Javi clears his throat and gathers resolve.

”I know our deal is that there's no taking leave, but I have to go anyway. I don't wish to leave on a bad note. If things don't work out, I'd like to come back.”

”Is a family member on their deathbed?”

”No.”

”Then no.”

”It's about love.”

Tom lets out a groan. ”It always is.” An unmarried man in his sixties, Tom probably cannot relate very much. ”No matter if I take married or single guys to work here, there is always woman trouble at some point.”

”It's not a woman,” Javi says, not sure what comes over him.

A ticking clock is the only sound for a while.

”Oh, for—don't go around saying things like that, you dumb boy.” Tom sighs and throws the newspaper on the floor. ”Go. And don't fuck it up. I had a situation like that once, you know. I could have had a happy life, with... Just don't fuck it up.”

”I won't. Thank you. I'm not leaving right away, but when I go, I hope I won't come back.”

\---

A truck drops Javi to the rodeo grounds located thirty miles from Reno. After about 20 hours of hitchhiking, the scenery has changed from the pine forests and mountain peaks of Montana to the semi-arid Nevada, only short shrub growing around the rodeo grounds.

The first people Javi sees are two cowboys walking past him with their arms around each other's waists. It gives him a little thrill. He rolls up the sleeves of his light blue plaid shirt, straightens his hat, picks up his large duffel bag, and starts to walk slowly further in.

Everywhere people are greeting and hugging each other. Someone in drag rushes past him, all curly wig and floral fabric. Javi passes a group of women who are carrying themselves in a very butch way, which makes him smile. Everyone can be who they want to here. There are a lot of good-looking guys. A lot. It's so new and more than a little disorienting to see cowboys everywhere he looks and to know for sure that they're gay.

The more he observes the crowd, the more doubts start to suddenly set in, though. Even if Joey thinks Adam has feelings for him, he could have already found a new rodeo date. More than one, in between Cheyenne and now.

Then he hears a laugh that makes his heart stop. There. Adam, with his back to Javi, standing in a circle of men.

Even though his heart is squeezing, Javi forces himself to stand back and just look for a second. Adam is wearing his black jeans and leather chaps, a dark green Western shirt. Familiar black hat, but the shoulder-length hair under it is maybe a little lighter than before. Javi can see the faces of the guys who are looking at Adam, their white smiles and excited eyes. They are all free to have a laugh and enjoy each other's company, of course. But that beautiful man standing over there, that's his.

Javi opens the bag for a moment and then leaves it on the ground as he climbs to sit on top of a wooden fence. While sitting there, he starts to swing his lasso around, with no fear of hitting anyone that high up. His hands are sweating way more than on any of the countless times he's roped animals. When there is a suitable break in the passing crowd, he lets the lasso fly. It falls neatly over Adam, and he pulls fast to tighten it around Adam's chest.

Adam turns. Javi doesn't know what to make of that look. Happy is not the word. More like stunned, eyes wide and mouth just a little parted. Like he's just... Utterly shaken. And frozen—people are starting to stop around them, unable to pass with the rope stretched between them, giving amused looks. So Javi gives a little tug, and Adam lets himself be pulled.

”Gotcha,” he says when Adam is standing in front of him, looking up.

”And what are you gonna do with me?” Adam asks, his eyes serious and... Vulnerable.

"I'm gonna tame you and make you my partner."

Adam's eyes close briefly.

”In what?”

”Life. Love.”

Javi yelps as he's grabbed by the belt and pulled down flush against Adam.

”You don't need to tame me. You already have.”

Kissing Adam is too real after dreaming about it for such a long time. He gets lost in it, heart beating fast by how possessively Adam is holding him and barely letting him breathe. Their lips keep pressing back against each other's again and again.

”I thought I said I wasn't into bondage,” Adam finally says, a beautiful grin on his face.

Javi takes the rope off.

"Well, if you're already tame, I'm just gonna move straight to riding you,” he says, trying to hold back a smile with difficulty.

Adam makes a short giggling sound. ”Are you now. Is this mine?” He touches the blue bandana around Javi's neck.

”Mm-hm. It doesn't smell like you anymore, because I've been wearing it lately.”

That earns him a tight hug. How amazing that they're able to get cozy with each other like this in the middle of a crowd. Even if some people are looking, the looks are everything but unkind.

He glances at Adam, and feeling a little shy busies his hand with tracing the patterns of the shirt on Adam's chest.

”I'm in love with you and I want to be with you and I should have said it back then, but I didn't realise I had any chance, and if you'll have me, I don't plan on going back to Montana.”

”I'm in love with you too,” Adam says and lifts Javi's chin with his fingers. ”We're going to my trailer now and we're not leaving it.”

”What about your rodeo?” He's checked the schedule, he knows bareback bronco riding is in a few hours.

”What rodeo?”

He takes Adam's hand laughing.

\---

They do come out of the trailer eventually, after hours of cuddling and talking and love-making. In the evening there's a barn dance.

An enthusiastic male couple dancing nearby almost bumps into them, both sporting thick moustaches and neither wearing a shirt.

"This is really not my kind of music," Adam whispers into Javi's ear. But he's smiling, has been all night, looking so happy.

They're pretty much as close as they can be in mirrored positions, one hand grasping the other's and one around the waist, swaying slowly.

”What if this was my favourite music?” His hand on Adam's waist drops a little lower.

”Then I would sing it for you all day long, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took liberties with the timing a little bit, because the fic is set in 1974, but the first gay rodeo happened in Reno in 1976. I wanted it to be more of an established thing, but to still set the fic in the early 70s before the AIDS epidemic became apparent. No disrespect meant by that; it's just that it's too devastating of an era for me to write about, since I don't deal with heavy themes in my writing. (Neither cowboy Adam or cowboy Javi had been infected prior to getting together and they are still living a happy life as grandpa cowboys somewhere in Colorado.)


End file.
